options for the near future

by **Tunes14** » Sat Mar 16, 2013 7:31 pm

ok, so we were looking over some options for problems we have and things we can do about them, in hopes of figuring out what we are going to do this summer. we, being me and the SO. i still need to talk this over with the others inside and see what they think, and ill update here when i have something. in the meantime, i wanted to get it up here and start getting opinions from anyone here too.

so, im sure there is more, and im sure i was not clear enough in these quick summaries, so im sure you all will have tons of questions. so this concise list gives you a number to reference your questions to and the basic information surrounding each issue: the problem we are having, the goal of each suggestion, the process by which we intend to reach that goal, and the general probability of success based on the opinions of me and the SO. again, questions are encouraged, because i know there is not enough information on any of these issues...

1:
PROBLEM: Katie is extremely attached to the introject.
GOAL: introduce her to things on the outside that she can do other than the introject things.
PROCESS: trigger her out every Friday (with pot) and keep her there until she plays a game or completes some other activity. Hopefully she will get used to doing other things and maybe find other interests.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: ?

2:
PROBLEM: Katie is extremely attached to the introject.
GOAL: introduce her to more of the inner world in hopes of showing her that there is more beyond the place where she stays and sleeps and that the inner world does actually exist.
PROCESS: go into the darkness with a flashlight and try to find her. Maybe calling for her as well, then talk to her and/or get her to see what is beyond her layer.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: (without shouting) ? (with shouting) low

3:
PROBLEM: jess has a hard time telling the difference between herself and Katie when they cohost.
GOAL: give her practice distinguishing what is her and what is not.
PROCESS: allow Katie to reach her (with her permission, of course) more regularly and let her get practice fighting the introject off by learning through trial and error.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: high, but it will take time and put jess in a fairly unsafe situation

4:
PROBLEM: jess has a hard time telling the difference between herself and Katie when they cohost.
GOAL: give her practice distinguishing what is her and what is not.
PROCESS: get jess to come out and cohost with us more often, with her fronting, and keep communication open to help her determine what is not coming from her and what is.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: low; it may give her a good basis to start with, but I think she understands the basics. Besides that, Katie is more fluent at making it seem blended than we are, so it will be more difficult with Katie than with us, so it may not be very useful in our overall goal. Plus jess is resting because she doesn’t want to come out.

5:
PROBLEM: jess doesn’t want to come out.
GOAL: make the environment one in which she will not feel stressed when she does come out so that we can work on getting her used to hosting again.
PROCCESS: get through school with good grades this semester, don’t get a job over the summer, spend a lot of time with sarah, spend a lot of time now with her family so that the environment at home has as little hostility as possible, and then let her get back into her old interests.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: middling. It will work well for the time that everything is calm, but there is a chance that she will still be just as pressured to go back inside once things level out again.

6:
PROBLEM: jess doesn’t want to come out.
GOAL: get her out and used to being host again.
PROCESS: not give a damn what the environment is like come summer and just force her back out when we aren’t in need of high function for grades in school. Force her to stay out (as best we can) and deal with whatever there is to deal with so that she can get used to not running from her problems.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: high. There is a very good chance that she will adapt to the environment when she has nowhere to go, and she will find ways to handle it. But she will probably not be too happy with us and she will probably have a very hard time with it and it will essentially ruin any hopes we had for summer. There is a small chance that she wont recover before school starts and then we will either have to give up and let her retreat or we will have to risk our grades suffering to keep her out.

7:
PROBLEM: jess is in an unhealthy relationship because she is too dependent.
GOAL: push her to be more independent outside of a relationship so that if she decides to get back into the relationship, it can be a healthy one.
PROCESS: get her and her SO to take a break from the relationship to keep from encouraging the dependency until we can find some way to get jess to be more independent.
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: low. Jess already will only come out around her SO, so if we take that away, getting her out will become at least twice as hard. Also, due to a recent conflict in the family of the SO, there will be a lot of problems on that end if things change in that way at this time and we run the risk of losing our safe zone completely (for a limited, but possibly extensive amount of time). This combined with the fact that we don’t know how to address helping her deal with it after we do get her back out means that we probably wont get very far on this alone. Not to mention, I think jen may already be trying to take advantage of the situation in a way that may complicate things even though we haven’t even decided to act yet…

I think that 2 would be a better plan than 1 because if you force to do something then she probably won't really enjoy it. A modification to 1 may be to figure out what sort of game/activity she would be interested in. Although since on 2 you'd have to go find her it sounds as if she's difficult to get into contact with, maybe your first line of business should be increasing communication between her and all of you. If she's more comfortable with all of you she may be more cooperative to come out and play games.

I think you're right in doing 4 as a basis before 3 but if there's a way someone could help her with fighting off the introject it'd probably be safer.

I think 5 sounds like a much better method than 6, since 6 has a lot of downsides. I think 5 should be pretty successful and if it isn't you can always modify your plan accordingly and there may even be a better or easier option afterwards.

Having them go on a break may not be the best option if she is so dependent. This is a general problem couples have, becoming dependent on one another. Instead of a break maybe just have them both find other people to hang with occasionally instead. It's always good to have people outside of a relationship to talk to and have fun with. Space is important. If she only comes out when her SO is around maybe begin by having her come out when he's not around. After all of that you can decide whether a break is really the best option.

Hope this is of some help.

Best wishes to you all!!

by **Tunes14** » Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:45 am

wow, i thought this got buried...

ok, well there have been some new developments. first, we may be getting the chance to get back with the good T - the one Jess liked. also told grandmother about our condition and things seems to be going more smoothly over here at the house since then. hopefully, they will stay that way. so we have (at least for now) another safe place to come out, more or less.

also, james and i have started talking about crap the introject is pulling, and it turns out he wasnt exactly left alone anyway, he just didnt realize it was the introject. so we are now really pissed off. im teetering on the line between sanity and sleight ... um... well, i cant say insanity, exactly, just... i inda lost it the other nite and have been on the border, kinda losing it periodically, and coming back to my senses. its like i get delusional and start repeating the same stuff over and over. james, on the other hand, seems surprisingly calm.

jess has started showing some interest in things again, but she doesnt seem to want to come out even to do them. problems with the SO has increased, and jess is distinctly wanted to be kept out of it, and i think she knows something is up... we plan to wait until after school lets out for the summer to have her go back to a more full time. and especially if we get that T back, i think if those struggles are over and school is out, and someone else (jen) is handling the job, i think she will feel calm enough to come out, and i think the T can help her stay calm and not stress so much.

so we arent too worried about jess for now, and the relationship with the SO is not in a place to add any kind of change atm. so we are focused on getting Katie away from the introject. but james is seriously pissed at the introject now, jen is fed up, and im going to be slipping into... that... until i do something. until i feel safe, im not going to be stable, and the introject is not letting up.

so the current plan is to use pot to draw atie out and then snatch her and store her somewhere - that way we take the ammo away from the introject and then hell be alone and we can gang up on him and stop his crap. but we need a place to go with her. she will not stop yelling when we do this, so we cant keep her on the first layer. teen wont accept someone who was kidnapped from another layer - shell send katie back in a heartbeat. so that only leaves wherever that guy is. i know of a guy inside who gave me a flashlite to find katie (not for any cheap price either), but he hasnt revealed himself officially, so i cant remember much about him when i come out here and have mixed feelings about what i do remember. i was thinking about seeing if i could get him to hold katie wherever he stays. i cant remember if i did or not, but james says (since hes inside and still remembers all this $#%^) that i did talk to him, but theres some stuff going on that is keeping us waiting. apparently some important people (in the system) met for the first time to talk in relation to what we plan to do - we have no idea who they are or what exactly they are talking about, but we do have an idea about what makes them so important (thou i dont remember now, and jay says theres a reason for that and he wont tell me). and the guy i have trouble remembering is our connection to these people. and the guy wont give an answer or move further in any way until these people get finished with whatever they are doing. so we are kinda going day by day and waiting to see what happens from here.

so since im tired and kinda unstable rite now, i hope you can understand what i wrote here, and thank you very much for the reply.

by **Evanescent** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 1:48 am

Yeah, I like to go back and find buried threads because I want to make sure everyone's being heard.

I'm glad to hear things are going smoothly at the house and you have another safe place to be yourselves.

I really hope you're able to get that T! She sounds really helpful. At least Jess is showing some interest, even if she's not acting on it, it's still a step up. Luckily summer is pretty close and it sounds as if you've got the Jess problem sorted out well. I'd love to hear how it all turns out.

I'm sorry you're having such horrible problems with the introject. I wish teen was willing to help you guys out more. At least you've got a prospect though, with the mystery guy. I'm curious what the important people are discussing that makes the guy rely on it for his next move. He helped once so maybe he'll help again regardless of whatever is being talked about. I bet it's nerve wracking having to wait so long and not knowing anything. You guys seem to be in the dark on a lot of things at the moment.

I hope you start feeling more sane and things become easier for you all! I'd love to hear more updates as they come!

by **Tunes14** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:07 am

as far as i know, discussions are continuing. nothing has been decided that im aware of rite now. the introjects attacks are continuing. jay is still oddly calm about all of this. but we arent hiding anything from each other anymore, at least im not. so i have him to help me through this time.

and ill be sure to keep this updated for you. : )

by **Tunes14** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:58 am

alrite, new update already.

**major trigger warning**

so, i got attacked tonite. knew it was coming. as soon as i turned out the lite, i heard the introject start talking. i curled up on the wrong end of the bed as i started to feel like i was back on the dar layer and he was talking to me. i kinda knew i was in the room, but i felt like i was back in the dark layer, like an emotional flashback. he told me how disgusting i was, and whatnot. he asked me what made me think that i could replace jess. he said i am nothing, and so on. i was just curled up and agreeing to whatever came out of his mouth. in the end, he said 'you may not be able to replace her, but i still can and will use you.' then i blacked out. i know katie was around during this time, and had been for a while before - thats how i knew an attack was coming. but she didnt do anything but hover, unless it was her that knocked me out - very likely.

so next thing i know, im waking up as an attack is beginning. once again, im hallucinating jay (thou knowing that sometimes its a shared hallucination, i think there is a good chance this was one of them). its sexual, as usual. i tried to say things like, 'this is weird', but my words got morphed and came out as something like 'amazing' instead of weird. he responded to what actually came out, not what i meant to say. emotions were manipulated on both ends, as always, so i cant tell if my actions were also controlled or if i was acting based on the controlled emotions. but it doesnt really matter either way to me - no matter how you look at it, it wasnt really me or really jay, even if we were both stuck in the hallucination. at the end, i could move freely and he was limp, unconscious. i tried to wake him, but he wouldnt wake. then i started to come to and realize that i wasnt inside - i was outside in the body, in bed. the introject and katie were gone; it was just me.

at that point, i kept getting flashbacks of jay. i tried to get him to come forward so i wouldnt be alone - so he could help me calm down. but thinking of him in any way just triggered a worse flashback. so i couldnt. i tried to get jen, and i could pull her forward, but it felt lie she was there, but sleeping. i couldnt wake her up. i tried to get jess, and i felt like i would be able to, but i didnt want to while the introject could still attack - then id be giving him what he wants. so i let her sleep. i decided to get up since i couldnt relax enough to rest, and i found a few odd things. first was that there were used makeup pads all over the floor. one was red, and i thought it was blood for a minute, but upon further inspection, it seems to have been lipstick. jen is the only one that wears makeup and she doesnt wear red anything. next thing i noticed was that the fairy charm we have (representing our fae) was in the middle of the floor - could have been an accident, but was kinda far away from where its kept, so it looked like it was more likely thrown. upon further inspection, i found that her 'summoning gems' (paper clips that she folded into supposedly magical symbols to ward off the introject (and even more oddly enough, they worked)) were all twisted up and mangled.

i got on skype and found that the SO was still awake, so i talked to her. best we could guess was that someone decided to play dress up (either katie or the fae - most likely the fae) and there was a battle that went down that the fae lost. she told me to ask the fae, and it was very soon after that the fae did show up. she said that she didnt know anything about an attack, but she was very pissed off about her 'gems' being twisted out of shape - she complained that she spent over an hour shaping them just rite. then, im not sure what happened, but she went inside and i heard her talking to someone in the hall on the first layer. she said, 'leave. you are not allowed up here. if you refuse, then i will go down there and take katie myself. get OFF my layer!' i suppose the person (whom i am assuming was the introject) left, because the fae turned back to me and said, 'jen should be able to attend her classes as normal. if you have any problems, do try to contact me immediately.' and she left, but i can still kinda feel that shes awake somewhere, but not paying attention to out here.

im a little odded out, but i do feel better than i did. i mean, apparently i have the fae on my side too and she (as delusional as she can be sometimes) seems to know whats going on (inside) better than i do. so it makes me feel a little better to know i have her on my side.

by **Evanescent** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:16 pm

I'm glad you're alright! That sounds absolutely horrible, I hope you're able to stop the introject soon because those attacks seem really distressing. It's always way worse when it's sexual and plus the fact that they made it Jay, agh! I wish we could go inside and help you fight!

I hope the flashbacks end soon and you can be comfortable around Jay again.

I'm really glad the Fae is on your side and she knows a lot about what's going on. Hopefully you guys can make a move soon and keep these attacks from happening. How often do they occur?

by **Tunes14** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:56 pm

the attacks tend to come in waves. when i start becoming numb to them, or when there have been a lot lately, they start to slow down and then stop for a few weeks before they start up again. sometimes the introject decides its been long enough, sometimes an excuse presents itself (like the nite before something important is a favorite of his, as well as on the occasion that jess comes out for a while, since shes the real target), and sometimes katie just starts throwing a fit and getting his attention. and depending on the cause, it can continue for longer periods of time (until katie/the introject feels completely satisfied) or shorter periods of time (once the important date arrives). the current cause was katie throwing a fit. so theres no telling how long it will last, but probably not longer than a month, tops. he only gets the chance to attack once or twice a day. but an attack can last hours if he can keep it going. so it really varies a lot. but last time i was getting flashbacks from it, they were done within 24 hours - even thou he attacked again the next nite. its like, since its not my own emotions to begin with, the flashbacks get old and i can start to block them off. you know? does that make sense? anyway, jay will show up on his own before 24 hours pass. he always does. and im sure hell help me out. as i said, its only during the attacks and the flashbacks that things are weird. i dont have any of those emotions when its not related to the attack. thats how i know they arent mine. and jay is the same way. once the 'dream' ends, hes completely fine. i envy is 'bounce-back' ability. just brush it off and keep going. hell be able to help me.

by **Evanescent** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:52 pm

Whoa, that is really often. I'm glad it's in waves though and not constant. Why does Katie throw fits? Does she not care about hurting you, or is she just so caught up in the introject that she doesn't think about it?

I'm glad the flashbacks get old and you can block them out. I get flashbacks from abuse on the inside sometimes but the abusers never manipulated or gave me feelings so since they're all my own they stay. It only lasted four years though and the abuse stopped a year ago. I'm glad it won't be able to haunt you.

Guys seem to be able to bounce back more easily sometimes. It always amazes me. It's good to know you have him to help you out. Having someone there definitely makes a difference.

by **Tunes14** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:48 pm

yea, im really grateful to have him around. sure enough, he did show up when classes would have ended (i skipped...). and ive been doing pretty good, all things considered. jess has had to put up with him for most of her life. he used to be regular with her, but when he got dissatisfied, and then things started getting more difficult for him (with all of us aware and fiting, the SO aware and fiting, and jess learning what came from her and what didnt and how to fite and that this counted as abuse, etc) he just switched to whenever he felt like it, i guess. but jess was convinced for years that she was getting pleasure out of it every time (and that it was her own), and she would regret it if he stopped, and that since she did get pleasure out of it it wasnt abuse no matter how she felt about it afterward. saying no wasnt what mattered, it was whether she got pleasure when it was happening. but she knows better now.

we got katie to come out and talk once, and she said outrite that she didnt care if it hurt us, except that the introject does care if someone else is involved and wants them involved, so she will never ask him to stop. great. she also says that its not hurting us, because like jess, she believes that its not bad if you get pleasure from it. but she also feels that even if the pleasure is forced on you, its still pleasure, so hes not to be blamed for that. the way she said it almost seemed to imply that we mite even owe him gratitude of some kind or something. shes really messed up...

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