Is it a good thing?

I was just wondering is it a good thing that most of my switches are co-conscious I used to get a lot of lost time (before I found out what was happening) but now it is really quite rare for me to lose time I just seem to become a passenger I am aware of what's going on i just mostly can't do anything about it?

I would say co-consciousness is universally agreed to be preferable to losing time and a sign that your system is moving in a positive direction, towards communication and away from high dissociative walls and amnesia. Congratulations!

Well that's nice to know though I've not been working on this for long I'm glad to know my alters at least want to try to co operate they still block me from coming back till they are satisfied which is annoying but yes I guess at least knowing whats going on is a bonus

yup it's a good thing! it's usually what people strive for and work towards. so congrats!

our system was co-conscious a lot out of need to keep up the appearance of normality. black-outs and lost time can be noticeable and worrying, so we would keep cassandra in the background, aware but not in control, to keep time loss from happening. now that there's no need/less need to appear normal and now that cassandra knows what's going on and everything though there can be lost time sometimes with switches and stuff, but we usually fill each other in on stuff we've missed and "memory share" and keep each other "in the loop" with important stuff best we can.


- cassie (age ?)

I guess that would be a good reason for them to not make me lose time is to keep some appearance of normality and for now it suits me fine i'd rather know what's going on kinda scary when you suddenly "wake up" and have to wonder what happened to the last half hour.

yeah that can be scary. but sometimes knowing what's going on but not having control over it can be upsetting too.

cassandra used to convince and tell herself that she lost time and didn't remember stuff because she didn't want to so much. she hated/hates watching herself do stuff and say stuff she has no control over and didn't want to remember the stuff she couldn't control.


both have their pros and cons i guess.


- cassie (age ?)

we don't want to upset big brother, we just don't want the scary people to know we're here

*paws at Jewl* it's ok i'm here meow

it makes it very hard if big brother doesn't know what happened sometimes big brother tries to forget us becuase he wants us to go away that makes me very sad and makes me want to hide why doesn't big brother love me

it's not that he doesn't love you. it's just that it can be hard to accept, learn, and be ok with the fact that we exist for some alters/hosts/"internal family members". sometimes it's hard to be multiple and sometimes people think that it'd be easier if they weren't, so they try to believe that they're not multiple and try to make life "easier" when really, they're only hurting themselves, their alters/parts, and they're only making things more difficult for themselves.


and then there's also doubt and denial stuff that doesn't help. doubt and denial is often like a reflex, like a defense, like how your foot kicks up when your knee is hit right. alters/parts are used to hiding, and we usually have to hide, and usually we don't want to be found. so when we are found and learned about and stuff, the brain reacts and start to doubt and deny stuff out of reflex, trying to help us go back to being hidden and not known about. so sometimes it's not always their fault that they're doubting everything.


- cassie (age ?)

i think i understand... i like cassie she tries to help me so big brother does care he just scared too?

thank you. i like you too. yup, he gets scared too. and sometimes confused. and sometimes overwhelmed by stuff. and when people get scared and confused and overwhelmed, they can say and do hurtful things they don't really mean, like an animal that bites because they're scared. they're not always trying to hurt you, they're just scared and don't know what to do, what to say, how to react, stuff like that.

sometimes cassandra says that we're fake, that we're lies, that we're not real. and sometimes she'll try to ignore us and stuff. and it hurts, but i know that she says and does stuff like that because she's hurting too, she's scared and confused and doesn't know what else to do. and i know that it won't last forever. and when she's not scared or confused, she knows we're real, and she feels bad about the stuff she does and says. and i know now that she doesn't mean it when it happens.


- cassie (age ?)