Something I've noticed about this forum

Lately, I've been browsing old threads on this forum and I've noticed that a few years back, there seemed to be an entirely different set of people/systems on here (and, if I may say so, the tone seemed to be somewhat rougher )

This made me wonder. Of course it is possible that these people have just moved on to different stages in their lives, but: DID is supposed to be a long-term condition. So how come people seem to come here, mostly when they've just figured things out, and then disappear? Don't they need any more support?

This ties in with what we've been talking about lately in my system: there seem to be very distinct stages in DID, and so far our system is fairly typical (in the sense that we are in the middle of what Una+ called a "DID crisis"). But if that is so, is there a logical next step (apart from therapy?).

It seems unlikely to me that all those previous posters healed/integrated/whatever solution they individually found in such a short time. According to the literature, even with therapy, a DID system is supposed to take years to get better. So have they found stability in some way that makes them not need this place any more?

It is a bit like this place is a train station, where travellers turn up confused and disoriented. then, at some point they get on a train out of here - but where do they go?

Ruby

Some people might simply have changed usernames, or left to find another forum.
Other people might have really good support in real life, relatives, therapists, even maybe alters.
Some might have gotten tired of explaining the same things to newbies all the time.
Some might not like it here because it keeps changing. Some might keep in private contact with fellow travelers. Anyway just what I can imagine right now.

ok, I admit it: I wanna know where that train is headed. Not that I'm in a rush to get out of here, but ...

I've been a part of other forums regarding various other topics and to begin with I would be on them every single day looking for answers or support. My problems haven't gone away but I just don't feel the need to be on them as much. Maybe it's because I've got all I can from that forum or because now I'm ready to actually tackle those issues in real life instead of discussing tackling them with people online.
I guess sometimes you don't have enough time to go on those forums if something in your life has changed e.g a new job, college, looking after a family member, etc. It's not that I don't need that support anymore but I guess I'm putting into practice the advice I've been given and now I'm trying to get on with it.

Personally, for me, I used to spend an inordinate amount of time here. Now, I come here to read daily but only certain threads and even then I rarely comment. I began to notice that this place was a trigger for my denial and have had to step back from participating so much. I was falling into the trap of comparisons too often: well, this system does this, mine doesn't, does that mean I'm not DID? I believe this place is great in giving you a lift up in starting the whole "healing" process (whatever that means to you - integration or more cooperation within the system) but there's only so much that can be learnt, the rest you've got to figure out yourself and is so individualised. That is why I set up my blog instead because then I can document MY journey through healing (good for the memory problems, means I can look back!)
-B

I can only speak for myself here. I came here after getting diagnosed and was seeking (desperately) as to what others were experiencing and understanding the "spectrum". It helped so much and I couldn't believe the things I experienced but just brushed off were experienced by so many others. I had to step away for several months because the trigger content in a lot of the postings were keeping me from progressing and intact making me feel worse and hopeless. But then things progressed in treatment and I enjoy skipping around to various posts in the evening or a little in the morning. It is a great support system!
Things I've learned that have helped the most:
Keep my feet on the ground when starting to feel switchy instead of laying down
*TW* cold packs are better than hot packs (esp if you burn)
journaling cannot be overstated. It really is one of the best tools
exercise!! Strengthening your body also strengthens your mind and helps keep grounded
yoga - very helpful in addition to an exercise routine
Finding a GOOD THERAPIST!!! Even if you cannot find a DID specialist- most can help with anxiety
and depression which is certainly underlying for most of us.
Integration is a choice and not a goal. If you want it, it will happen

I come and go on forums.
It depends who holds the reigns really

Some of us have been aware of how things work in our head for ages and ages and have stacked the odds for our Hosts to find out about ourselves.

I used to spend a hell of a lot of time on the dp-selfhelp forum, first gathering information, then acting as a helper, compiling information for pinned threads and reassuring confused newbs.

What I found there was that the same questions are asked over and over.
With the depersonalisation forum I used to frequent, the turn over time was really quick.
Within three months the majority of the users would disappear and new ones would turn up (mainly because many there experienced depersonalisation due to drugs and after the initial shock/fear they recovered swiftly).

I'd come across this forum at the time, but a Part of me kept us out of here. My hand would hover over the link on google and then I'd find myself closing the browser. Or I'd make it here, start reading a thread, get scared by all the we talk (which I guess scared me because I recognised it in myself) and again: Delete history. Close browser.
It just seemed too scary to acknowledge that I knew what the guys here were talking about as well, that depersonalisation was just the top of the iceberg..

I think while forums are amazing for information collecting and reassurance that we are not alone in the way we experience ourselves and the world, there comes a time when everything has been asked and answered before.

By that time participating heavily can lead to set backs rather than further growth, especially in rougher forums, where the distress of other users kind of seeps into you.

So I try to ration not only my time on boards but also my participation. Sometimes it is okay to lurk but really there is no need to create topics about myself which are all too similar to those already in the archives..

I am trying to stay this time though, at least as a semi-lurker.
I just don't want to forget again and maybe I won't but it's happened too many times before.
I don't really trust myself to remember.

Interesting comments everyone. One thing I've found over time is that the number of posts has gone up and up and up. I used to be able to read everything, no problem, even with my job. Now, there are so many posts each day I can't catch everything, which is okay. I do like to help new people but there are so many others now who can and do step in more effectively than I can.

I remain to share what (I think) I know, hear how people I feel I know are doing, help someone if I can, and learn or, more precisely, notice something about my system or experience that I hadn't been able to see before. I've had the experience sooo many times where someone brings up a "thing" (typical thread title might read "does this ever happen with you?"), I listen to everyone's response, maybe contribute my own, and I can now distinguish in a way I never did before that this weird thing that I'd always just written off or that drove me crazy not understanding now is known to be linked to the DID, alters, the dissociation. I love being able to fill in the blanks for my nonsensical, frustrating life and have some of the deeply disturbing and always, always inexplicable things I felt, remembered, experienced, knew, sensed begin to make sense. My sentimental favorite remains electrical issues.

Like everyone, hearing that others experience many things in a similar way helps to normalize this stuff, make it less bizarre or upsetting.

Yaaaagh, I am so into myself today. So host-centric. Many of us, not just me the host, make us come here because they want to meet people like them. Alters who aren't hosts, other kids, teens, etc. My littles don't say much here but they like hearing other littles talk, even if I'm like "hey, let's get to that other thread." But I guess that's the same thing as when somebody's watching cartoons and I want to watch Scifi or read or whatnot.

I have been comparing threads for awhile and the amount of new comers is indeed increasing which for me is comforting that others also are struggling with issues that I thought were only unique to us but also it it looks like awareness about DID and mental issues is more accepted today than it was years ago. Seeing people have resources to recover and manage is a huge step forward over what existed. (Think 35 years ago, the only option was inpatient with little understanding about people's symptoms)

I hope the people that no longer post here are doing well and not not being here as a result of something bad. The thing I like about this and the other sections are literally hundreds of opinions from everyone.

Like Johny-Jack says I do find myself comparing all sorts of things, but in my case it gives me comfort that every system is different and that there many options of handling situations. I guess its because Ive always looked for a "norm" or "standard" in everything and when I didn't fit in with that I would panic. Fortunately Im learning not to be so obsessed with the rudimentary details.

most of the users on this forum i've read seem to either find themselves getting triggered too much so they stop posting as much, or they start focusing more on themselves and don't have as much time to post here, or they find a new way to help themselves like focusing more on a blog, or they prefer to be more of a "reader" anyway, or something like that. since we've joined we've noticed that this forum seems to "cycle" through "groups" of "regulars" and that it changes over time.

- cassie (age ?)