Half animal half human need some help *trigger warning*

HI

well umm. question yeah...

I'm half human half animal.. I switch into a 'wolf mode' as my host calls it when I'm in some form of turmoil. But that side of me has completely dissapearred. Emotionally I have been healthier but I don't feel right without the presence of this other side off me.
I miss that side of me. Is there anyway that I could try and reconnect to this side without it being a negative thing?Has anyone else gone through something like this?
Just feeling abit down about it.

-Barry

First, disappeared suggests that this part is not accessible at the moment, that it remains hidden. This does happen in systems. If you are a whole alter, it seems odd that part of you is gone. Still, I can longer dissociate deeply on demand as in the past and that loss really upsets me because I liked that kind of dissociating as an escape.

The way you describe the parts, the words you choose, suggests this may actually be two alters, not just two sides of you as an alter. That might be worth considering. I have evidence of this being either in my system. I've felt I myself go into an identifiable mode again and again but it turned out I had been switching to a young alter who felt very much like me. On the other hand, Jonathan has at least three distinct modes he goes into and we recognize each as him: one is his regular calm self where he's being himself, another is where he makes generic choices that could be made by either me or him and with both of us seeing the body go about things but unaware that he's the one in front, not me (probably developed as a mechanism to fool me into thinking I was out but kind of on automatic pilot or something), another is speeded up mass clean and organize mode. I really want him to try doing the latter so I can get the place cleaned up, but it's kind of like asking him to pass a couple hours as a butler without being able to pay him so I won't ask.

There are many, many ways in which alters are paired, as twins, as light/dark versions of a similar alter. Only you can determine if you're one alter or two. Given that you have DID, it's worth investigating whether you are two alters. The assumptions you make about what you're looking for may determine whether you find it.

Thanks!! I never really thought of it from that prospective.... -Barry