Living in the inner world?

This is kind of a thought that started from this thread.

Anyone know how you can kinda have a life inside instead of on the outside?

I like living life in the body.. I was out for quite a while, I had a relationship and all.. But now? I guess I just look at Cassie & Jacob inside and they're happy. They're not as traumatized anymore (though Jacob is way traumatized when he comes into the body, he doesn't feel safe in the outside world at all) and they have a good life inside. They have their relationship (twins, I think), they have their family (them and the polar bear and I heard someone mention their raising a kid?? I dunno). I just.. I want what they have. I want to be happy and if I were happy inside I wouldn't have to come out, like C & J who don't come into the body unless triggered (which is very rarely since we don't meet the mother anymore), and I wouldn't have to worry about messing anything up or being lonely..

Anyone have any clue about this? I get this is probably stupid but I dunno..

It's not stupid. Some of my alters have said at various times that they want to do that. There have been times when even I wished I could just go inside and never come back out. For my alters, and for me, I think its healthiest that we continue to front from time to time. At least in therapy, its good that they have a chance to come out.

This will be something you'll have to decide for yourself of course but you say the reason you want to do this is so you 'wont mess anything up'. That kind of bothers me. It sounds like you might be sacrificing your own happiness for the others. I hate to see you do that, I don't think it's healthy. Would you truly be happy inside, never having the chance to come out?

Either way, I hope you take the time to think about what is best for you, because if your not happy it will affect the others, and because I want you to be happy you deserve it.

Geoff

I think its healthiest that we continue to front from time to time. At least in therapy, its good that they have a chance to come out.

Yeah I figure as much. I wouldn't mind being out for a while here and there either but I just don't wanna be like.. out for a life you know? Or I do, but not like this

I hate to see you do that, I don't think it's healthy. Would you truly be happy inside, never having the chance to come out?

I guess I'd always have the chance, I just want to be happy inside so that I could be there. If you understand?

you deserve it.

Thanks, I appreciate that

I would miss you if I were to like not be out much though, I will admit that

i know teen is happy inside. when she comes out, its for the shortest amount of time possible. shes really attached to the kids inside. as for the kids, the mute doesnt seem to care too much where he/she is and lell likes to be out, but she also likes to be inside after a while. that while could be hours or days, but she does like to eventually go back in. as for me and my group, we seem to have this weird amnesia thing going on. like, i know ive talked to teen, but i cant remember anything that may have been said. i know ive been inside before, but i cant remember what it looks like. its like once we come out here, none of us can really remember what it was like in there. so i cant tell you what id prefer. jen likes to be outside, but she gets worn down and has to take long naps. jess likes to be out, but she doesnt like having the responsibilities required out here and has been thinking about staying in more often, if she can get someone else to come out during her time. so shes kinda torn herself. but it seems to be mostly a matter of preference.

-?

Thanks for sharing that It helps to hear how it is for others hihi

I'm wondering how to be able to make a life for myself in there though.. When I'm just used to coming into the body (not even purposely) I don't really know how to stop that from happening very often.

But most of all, I don't know how to create for myself on the inside what it is I'm missing on the outside.. Hopefully I will figure it out in time

We believe it's mostly a choice, but it's healthy for alters to front or have a reason to front at times.

Valera is always inside. For the most part, she sees no reason to be out, she has no real desire to be out, and so she doesn't come out. However, she will come out if she feels like it during a night of drinking, or if she finds something of interest, or if we're around Adam (pretty much the only person she has any emotional attachment to, and the guy she loves). But otherwise, she stays inside. It can be years in-between the times she comes out, but that's ok. As long as there are times and reasons for her to come out, that's all that matters on the healthy scale.

It also depends on your system. Some alters just don't front or come out. It might not be part of their purpose/"job", it might be something they're not used to, it might be something they've never done and have no interest in doing. If this is the case, the only important thing is to make sure they at least take part in therapy and are up front enough to get help from therapy, even if they aren't actually out.


Hope this helps in some way.


~The Hawk

i know Jo wouldn't mind living inside to not have to deal with stuff, but as an alter? i've got to come out occasionally. the inside world is both creative and boring. you can predict stuff in the inside world. i can never predict what's happening on the outside world. hell, i'm even starting a relationship with Jo's husband/my new boyfriend. i wouldn't get that if i was inside all the time.

just my two cents, not much but meh. half watching a movie.

~ Rachelle

Thanks

It did answer some things

I know some of us just don't front that often but those like me, who are used to fronting a bit.. I'm not sure how to choose not to come out or make a life for me inside.

Can I ask you Valera, what do you do inside? Do you have a life in there that you can enjoy? You don't have to answer of course

Thanks Rachelle. That's true. I know our SO is the girlfriend of 4 of us now and they have a life that is exciting and new and everything. I guess I feel like it's just not in the cards for me to get what it is I want out of life, so maybe it's better if I just make a life for myself inside so I don't like take up this life out here and mess something up. But I dunno

Thanks, your cents helped hihi

This is Ascha typing for Karlan, our four year old in Miranda.

The inside world is magic. I can see there, in the outside world I'm blind. In the inside world I can see shapes and colors. The inside world has so many benefits. You just have to ask yourself, which is more important? Magic or reality? But even still the inside world is real, for imagination can become reality. Inner world is fun! Only you can decide what you want to truly do.

Even if it's not exactly what you want, you can always compromise or come close. All of us try to live with the mindset of "something is better than nothing", and we all try to help each other get our "fair share" out of this life that's all of our's.

Feeling like you don't want to mess anything up isn't exactly a good or healthy reason to want to be inside. This is your life, too. You won't "mess it up" by taking a part in it if you want to. Valera stays inside because, well, she sees no reason and has no desire to be out. Simple as that. If she sees a reason to be out, or something makes her want to be out, then she'll be out. Otherwise, she's content with staying inside.

I will see if I can get her to reply herself, or through me, or something, because I think it'd be best if you read her answer as much from her as possible.

Usually alters that front or are used to fronting have a reason for that. It's part of their purpose/"job", or they are/were needed to be out that much, or something like that. So, it might be that you're still needed to front from time to time, and that's ok, that can be worked on as you all heal and get better and such. But it might mean that you might not be able to stay inside all the time, or for very long, or other things like that. I'm not trying to discourage you or anything, I'm just trying to point out all the things that should be taken into account when looking at this situation. Just like there can be a host change and the ex-host can transition into being inside, it's possible for you to transition as well, though it'll probably take some time, some work, and some adjustments in response to the change. (Just mainly trying to say that it won't happen overnight, but it can happen).


~The Hawk