Question about vision changes

I'm hoping ya'll can help me out with this.

At least once or twice in every therapy session I've been in (a total of four, so far), this really weird thing happens with my vision. I'll be looking at my T, and these dark spots will appear in my vision, and if I keep my gaze focused on my T, my vision gets darker and blacker until I literally only see his face. It goes away if I keep my gaze shifting around the room, but comes back if I look at anything for too long. My T will always ask something like, "Where did you go?" or "What just happened?" once I re-shift my gaze.

Btw, this sort of thing happened when I came out to my brother as trans, and when I told my brother about the alters.

My guess is that this is like a pre-switch, but honestly, I have no clue. Any ideas? Or if anyone's experienced this type of thing, I would really appreciate anything you can tell me.

Thanks again

I actually experience something just like this. Except in my experience, everything goes white until I can only see my T's face. I starts as not being able to focus on something, and so I look at her face, and then everything starts fading to white. I'll blink and stuff to make it re-focus but it's just a really strange experience. I don't actually know what it is either, just thought I'd let you know I kind of experience the same thing.

This definitely sounds like dissociation. It could be simple dissociation due to stress, the situation, coping mechanisms, etc. Or it could be signs of a switch coming on or trying to happen. Or it could be a sign of something triggering, either to you or another alter. Or it could possibly be a sign of co-consciousness, because we know sometimes our vision does weird things when someone else joins in awareness.

Do you have communication with your alters? Could you perhaps ask, either via talking or writing notes, if someone was trying to come out or something? Let them know you're not upset, you'd just like to know what's going on.

Is there any consistency with subjects you're talking about when this happens? Or does this only happen in therapy? Because you could be dissociating to help yourself or other alters cope with therapy, or something. The fact that this also happened when you came out to your brother is a clue that this might be simple stress-related dissociation or that another alter could be trying to come "out"/forward.

Try documenting all you can about when these vision things happen, the situation it happens in, how you're feeling, what you're thinking (if anything), etc. Anything that could help you understand more about why your vision changes and what's going on, try to record it or make note of it somewhere.


Best of luck in figuring this out. Know that you're not alone- we have vision stuff like this happen to us sometimes as well.


-A mixture of us(?)

My experience sounds similar. When I'm really stressed or depressed or down or just extremely bored and want to go away, I used to be able to dissociate so that the reality before me took on a different look. It was as I created a tunnel vision, with a darkness creeping to take over the periphery and limited light remaining on something I needed just barely to keep looking at. It was when I really, really didn't want to be where I was and could afford to go away. I think I could block out all sight if I wanted to by it all going black. People either weren't looking at me directly and couldn't tell what was happening or I didn't care if they did. I seem to recall it happening at the dentist, a movie theater, at a dinner I wanted to escape with my sister and a friend, and in an already dark room watching somebody's awful, boring presentation. I would have been alarmed except that I knew from experience it was entirely me willing it.

I don't think I can do this tunnel-vision escape anymore. Even if I could, I would know I'm deliberately trying to dissociate and escape and I know we aren't supposed to do that anymore, it's not good for us.