And 2 makes 27

*trigger warning for.. I'm not sure what we're/I'm going to write yet but I'm sure it will be triggering.. it's mostly just one long thought process, just needed to write it down I guess*

I feel.. tired.

More people in my system. I've almost known for a week but today it was confirmed. 2 more makes 27. Not exactly the 4 we knew about a year ago, huh..

We have some 1x1 cm little glass presents that hung on the Christmas tree. 3 times today 2 of the gifts have been places by the figurines we have of each part in the system (or the ones we have bought yet). Our SO kept putting them back in their place because she didn't get that someone had put them there but we lost time and 3 times it was put back there. They're like little gifts these boys. Precious glass gifts.

3 & 5 year old boys it seems. CPR they say. Taking over when the stranglings got too bad.

Switch. switch. switch.

Thought of a good thing: They aren't new. My life has known them even if my conscious has not.

They are boys. Boys are scary. All boys are. Except sometimes. Cause sometimes they're nice.

Why so scared of two boys holding hands who helped us.

There's so many of us. 27. Still don't know if there are more.

I feel like I'm in a circus. I'm the circus. Big circus tent. I feel like dieting. Like that's going to rid my brain of crazy. I know it's not so I won't.

My brain is just one big blurr of sentences. No one stays in the body for long.

Therapy on Wednesday thankfully, but she won't deal with the DID so what does it matter in the end.

A huge trauma anniversary coming up. I guess that's why things feel hectic. Nothing is hectic right now. We are enjoying our lives and we're in a great place. But still my brain feels hectic.

2 boys. 3 & 5. Most of my boys are 3 years old.

CPR they say. They give the rest of us CPR by coming into the body. That's nice of them.

- A whole bunch of us, I've no idea who most of the time.

I think I can kind of relate to your situation, around the beginning of us discovering we had DID 3 of our system where known to the host back then, but it shot up like a rocket to 21 in just a few months. Now it is 28 already, unknown if there are any more.

I wish you a lot of luck with your alters

Thank you.

Yes it can be kind of a shock. Hectic.

Thank you.

At least feeling more calm now. Had a switch-a-thon for a while but now things are calming down. Helped just writing it all out Thank you all for making this place a safe place to share and heal

I just wanted to say that you are certainly not a circus, nor are you crazy. I know how unsettling it can be to have things change inside. I'm glad things are starting to calm down. I hope things get a lot easier soon. And I want to say welcome to these new additions
Geoff

lifelongthing wrote:At least feeling more calm now. Had a switch-a-thon for a while but now things are calming down. Helped just writing it all out Thank you all for making this place a safe place to share and heal

You're certainly welcome, we might not be here all the time but everytime we can be of any help it makes me feel glad

I just wanted to say that you are certainly not a circus, nor are you crazy. I know how unsettling it can be to have things change inside. I'm glad things are starting to calm down. I hope things get a lot easier soon. And I want to say welcome to these new additions

Thank you. I used to call myself "circus girl without a safety net", and it sure does feel that way sometimes - but after the initial shock, most of the time things end up alright Thank you for the support and talking to us when we were hurting. I am thankful we have your friendship

We had 27 also, so I feel a kinship with you. I know its hard when they first come out all of a sudden, but then the dust settles and we work it out. Hang in there!

Thank you Alysone. It is hard but I know it will feel better when things settle, as you say. We're starting to get more information on them already and it's helping a bit. Thank you

I feel overwhelmed by the growth of my system too. I'm afraid to count how many and more afraid to acknowledge some that I can see lurking in the shadows of my denial. I don't want to admit that I see them - I don't want to know their names. NOPE. I know I have some little boys too, but I haven't acknowledged them yet. I wonder how long til I can?
It's amazing that they gave CPR !!! What amazing, caring, strong, brave and heroic little boys you have!