Highway hypnosis

Does it only happen when you're driving michiru7422?

I think regardless of whether it's a symptom of disassociation or something else altogether, it might be worth exploring ways that help you to stay focussed whilst driving. Driving is such a potentially risky activity - spacing-out whilst driving could not only present a risk to you but also to other road users. Some ideas could be to play the radio or listen to stimulating music (but not relaxation music!), have a window down or turn-up the air-conditioning, have someone in the car with you to keep an eye on you or the road, or make a game of observing something to do with the road conditions such as counting signs or other cars etc. Keep yourself safe!

we agree with javert. Make sure you and the others on the road are safe.

Good luck with everything.

I didn't mean to take up so much of everyone's time... Seriously, thanks, guys.

This got long. I'm sorry...

What I have described was the only time I have visibly lost time in a way that I can't deny. There are other times that I have been driving that have felt the same but...

I mean, I do lose stuff (emotions, memories, etc.) pretty regularly in daily life. Some of it is (emotionally significant) stuff that I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be losing (and some of it isn't), which is what makes me suspect <i>some</i> kind of dissociation going on more than this highway hypnosis stuff does. But it's less tangible than this, and I usually lose it sometime afterwards, and when something jogs my memory, it all comes flooding back.

Like, this is about the fifth time I have researched dissociation and only the second I remembered coming into this. But while doing the research this time, I found an article I read and a journal entry I wrote that triggered my memories of the other times.

I am having a lot of trouble writing this now, but I think I need to get it out there. What I am trying to say is, there might be times while I'm not driving where I have lost time on the front end, but I don't remember. When I learn stuff I'm not supposed to know, it gets taken away (immediately afterwards, which is different from what I usually lose), and usually so does the knowledge that I ever discovered something. I am not even supposed to know any of what I have written in this post (I think), so I am liable to lose that as well. And I'll probably decide I was crazy for even writing any of this later.

I do try to do my best to stay with it while driving. I do not recline my seat. I vary the heat. I open windows. I look out the window more often than I used to and stop at places that look interesting. I drive on side roads. I don't use cruise control. I change my music and the volume of my music.

The problem with this and the above stuff is that I often don't KNOW I'm in a bad state of mind for driving - or for doing anything else for that matter - until I'm out there already. And it happens despite everything I do to keep it from happening.

I would definitely look into having a T check you for a dissociative disorder or trauma disorder in general (or really a broad test to see what needs to be further looked into). That sounds like a distressing way to live and, like with the driving, unsafe way to live as well. Take care and good luck with this

Seriously, thanks, lifelongthing, for your continued replies.

I did have a T do a broad test for mental health concerns this time last year 'cause I was having a lot of trouble getting things done (the real reason I've been looking for answers). She diagnosed me with Schizoid Personality Disorder (social withdrawal without distress) and dysthymia (a mild but long-standing depression). By the summer, she didn't think the diagnosis was right, but she didn't know what was going on either. Every time I answer tests like that, I always answer only for Schizoid Personality Disorder. I've experienced other symptoms but not consistently.

As far as the dissociation goes, usually I don't even remember that I forget stuff, so generally it doesn't bother me. I'm surprised I've been able to remember this much this time. My mind goes blank a lot when I try to talk/write about stuff (don't ask me about what 'cause I don't know). Or I think I'm exaggerating and forgetting really wasn't abnormal/a problem. Or it didn't really happen. I wasn't even supposed to write the last post I did. I had a lot of trouble writing it. You guys have said I really should go in about it 'cause it's dangerous. Y'all are right, but I really can't imagine talking to a therapist about it...

Just in case you haven't seen it, this thread contains a lot useful information:
*DDNOS/DID RESOURCES: symptoms, common questions, etc.*

Yes, this sounds really bad. Is the forgetting (much) more with dissociation related stuff? If that's the case, dissociation is actually much more likely. Because dissociation/DID is 'meant' to stay hidden. It is there to function as normal as possible, and when it's discovered it's not normal at all. So that's 'unsafe' and thus should be 'avoided'. Well, working on it actually helps in the long term, but where it originated it is (at that moment) far better to stay hidden. See here.

I'm happy to help

Every time I answer tests like that, I always answer only for Schizoid Personality Disorder. I've experienced other symptoms but not consistently.

For what it's worth, I've been in psychiatry on and off since elementary school and never got a really set diagnosis except anxiety until all of a sudden I was diagnosed with about 7 things or something. Most of those weren't right (hardly any, to be fair) and then (most of) those were taken away and they found out I have DID, OCD, Anorexia Nervosa and Recurrent Depression (also have PTSD and Selective Mutism but my T took those diagnoses away because they are better covered by the DID). Anyway - what I'm trying to say is that sometimes it can take a while (or a long time even) to figure out exactly what it is, especially if your signs aren't the hallmark signs of what it is you are struggling with. But you are trying and that is great because it means you're willing to look inwards and do the work to heal too

usually I don't even remember that I forget stuff, so generally it doesn't bother me. I'm surprised I've been able to remember this much this time. My mind goes blank a lot when I try to talk/write about stuff (don't ask me about what 'cause I don't know). Or I think I'm exaggerating and forgetting really wasn't abnormal/a problem. Or it didn't really happen.

We experience this a lot too (not just related to the DID, but in general). I think this is often a trauma response and not just a "dissociative disorder" response. I would definitely tell a T this though, as it is very good information to work from. Not remembering that you forget stuff is something we very much relate to.

but I really can't imagine talking to a therapist about it...

You could consider writing a letter to the T explaining things, or print out this page from the forum (or just the text so she can't see your username etc if that bothers you), or send her the link here or something like that? There's lots of ways to communicate, maybe look into finding a way that makes you more comfortable or able to share?

I don’t know if it’s worse with dissociation-related stuff. Like I said, I forget a lot of stuff. Recently, I’ve been researching dissociation, so I’m probably remembering more about stuff I lost about dissociation right now, specifically because I’ve been hitting things that trigger those memories. There’s a difference between researching something or hitting on it in the popular media and thinking you actually have a disorder. So I pretty consistently forget whatever made me think I experience dissociation, but I don’t necessarily lose the research itself.

I’m not seeing that T anymore (or any T for that matter). I have been thinking that I need to see a T again pretty much as soon as I stopped going to that one, but actually making the call and going is another story - difficult before and now, well.

So I just want to thank you all again for your support. And oaktree, thanks for the links. I hadn't seen the second one before. When I see a T, I will eventually definitely try to bring up dissociative disorders and probably print out the text of this thread (thanks for the idea, lifelongthing).

You're welcome Best of luck going forward with this.

Have recently been reading Dissociation and the Dissociative Disorders: DSM-V and Beyond, and I have learned something more about this topic. I figured I'd post what I learned here.

Researchers distinguish between alterations in consciousness and structural dissociation. I think we are pretty well familiar with structural dissociation here. Steele, Dorahy, van der Hart, and Nijenhuis include relaxation, daydreaming, problems in concentration and attention, depersonalization, and derealization as examples of alterations in consciousness. (Also highway hypnosis and absorption-type experiences that are usually considered "normal" dissociation as far as I have understood it.) There is a failure to encode; that is, no part remembers, unlike in structural dissociation. In structural dissociation, sense of self is unstable and inconsistent over time and experience, which is not relevant to simple alterations in consciousness.

Alterations in consciousness tend to coincide with structural dissociation (and often at the same time), but alterations in consciousness can occur without structural dissociation as well. Alterations in consciousness are suggested NOT to be normal in cases where they are excessive, frequent, inflexible, and unable to be consciously controlled.

While I find it difficult to distinguish between the two based on this particular situation, what I have read does seem to suggest that an experience like this would be problematic.