Coming out? reverting? TRIGGER WARNING

I'm thinking I came out with DID quite a few years. during that time it was painful because struggling with denial or denial parts. My life transformed all the pieces that were my life made sense. It feels like I'm de evolving going back running back to where it began not memory wise but I feel like it just all reverting back to the old way when they all hid and only Charlie Barry and Grace were around with random appearances with others. Since I don't have a T and only ever seen a psych once and afew counselors which were no help what so ever. Only a chaplain got something through to us when we slipped into a deep depression all he said was 'it's going to be okay' he didn't judge for what we did and shove digust in are face *******self harm***** we used to self harm a lot a numbing escape from the nothing we felt we had*********end*********
I don't want us to start hiding again I don't want to become nothing all over again all of us were invisible for so long and afraid of are own voice (no pun intended).
And I don't believe we ever really went through anything traumatic yeah are family fought and my father had a temper problem but not thing that bad happened mind you most of are life is hidden in silver mirror boxes.
I just don't want to revert to what we used to be but I feel like it's already happening.

I don't know whether it's good advice, but... I might have a denial part too. And when I talk to it as a part, and directly oppose it, it helps me to not get caught in denial.

Maybe it helps to make a list of reasons why it is DID? I have done that once here.

I don't think you should be so caught up in the trauma stuff. Remember - you were a child then and things make a much higher impact then. And it is also possible you don't remember the worst part, or maybe there was more than you know now. You can not be sure it was it all. I have had images of very awful things happening to me (I won't go into detail because it's off-topic and triggering). I don't believe them yet but I keep in mind the 'trauma' I went through may not be all. (That 'trauma' doesn't feel traumatic at all now. And it also involved my parents verbally fighting.)

I hope you find a way to live that works for the whole of you. We've toyed with the idea of going back to not being known about etc by others (except the SO obviously).. But in the end, we all want and deserve our own place in our own life - just like you (all) do. I hope you figure this out.

oaktree wrote:I might have a denial part too. And when I talk to it as a part, and directly oppose it, it helps me to not get caught in denial.

I think we've figured out there is a denial part but. as well as ex-host working through her own denial and unable to think it's real factor again.

but direct opposition might work.

thanks for the advice

-Barry

lifelongthing wrote:I hope you find a way to live that works for the whole of you. We've toyed with the idea of going back to not being known about etc by others (except the SO obviously).. But in the end, we all want and deserve our own place in our own life - just like you (all) do. I hope you figure this out.

thanks for the kind words we are trieing.

- Barry

thanks for the kind words we are trieing.

That's all one can ever do