Our thread sorta kinda (jessica6 journey thread)

by **Jessica6** » Sun Nov 15, 2020 6:01 am

First time in a while we've dared this color- we'd say today we've mostly been Sam.

Beginning to feel as if this is all just flights of twisted, perverse fantasy.

Earlier this evening, The Nameless One gave us a long talk in his gibberish. We think we was gesturing and pointing out the main female and male alts, and... giving us a pep talk? Lots of hand language- and ofc spoken gibberish. And he slapped us a couple times- he's... a slapper. Didn't use to be but now, yes, likes to smack the body on the cheek.

Today we had... well I think we had it other day, as well- we had um, maybe some sort of mixed mood episode? Correction, we've been rapidly going between elation and depression. This evening, however... we were... both- at the same time, or nearly so. Oh happy happy I like this song here I'm singing happily along with it while I'm crying and thinking we are so ###$ up and everything is hopeless and we are the worst thing ever to happen to our partner. But we're singing! Happy.....

That was... different.

What else? Oh we think we dreamed as... not Steph, last night- and in the dream we were.. well, bipolar or BPD. Something that started with a B, and in the dream someone was.. saying or posting things, and we were responding with exaggerated, I suppose... manic-like responses. Then I think we woke as one of the kids for a while- Albert then... Sabrina and/or Stephanie... then... later in the day, moi. And then the crazy moods started. We were utterly depressed even though we were having a very pleasant evening out, then on the way home we were sadpy. that's sad and happy thrown in a blender.

Now that I'm back out, to write this- feel it starting again. Odd. Just.. odd. Meh. We were actually afraid to get home- out of... fear that the mixed moods would get out of hand? But we had some tasks to do and that put things right out of our mind- and now I'm out and here we are feeling weepy. Go figure- yay I'm the downer, lucky me right?

-- Sun Nov 15, 2020 12:05 am --

Oh yes and we sat by a mirror tonite- not by design- and I stared at the... person.... occupying my seat. Not a stranger. But... still, someone else. Not me. Not... me.... didn't help the mood, needless to say.

<3 Sam <3

Our thread sorta kinda (jessica6 journey thread)

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