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Memory loss of personal events

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Memory loss of personal events

Postby AmmeSO » Tue Nov 12, 2019 5:24 pm

I am really worried about my memory problems that has surfaced in the last few years. So I have been under alot of stress, from mental and physical trauma to harrassment from abusive people, and stress of losing work. I suffer from depression and anxiety for a long time.
I started noticing I don't remember personal events, like I took road trips and not remember much what we did or where we went. Even my own wedding 2 years ago was a foggy haze. I forgot what we did for our anniversary too last year and need prompts from my husband. I mess up the time of events, like I will think it happened last week when it was just 2 days ago. It feels like I lost the sense to tell the timeline of events. This is true for both happy and sad events. When I get into a big argument with hubby, I will forgot the reason why I was so upset, and get confused. But remember feeling angry but not why. During this period, I also don't recognize myself in the mirror sometimes, it feels like my reflection will start talking back to me. I also feel very detached sometimes and forgot how it feels to be depressed. Once I went to put out the trash to realize I already did it, and the memory of it is hazy.
Now thinking back, I realize I don't remember much of every year, perhaps a few memories each year. All those memories are very foggy. It is really scary and I feel like I am breaking. I realize I don't actually remember much of my childhood and teens.
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Re: Memory loss of personal events

Postby Amythyst » Wed Nov 13, 2019 1:29 am

Hey AmmeSO,

Some of the stuff you describe reminds us of stuff we've been dealing with lately too. Like the fuzzy recent memory stuff & loss of timeline stuff.

Our T says its probably part of what they call 'depersonalization'. Its like where you're dissociated a little bit (or a lot) from like your day-to-day life stuff. Not like DID-alter-switch level of dissociation, but like enough that you're not really 'all there'.

For us, we can be really like, sharp and alert and awake and stuff 'in the moment' but as soon as the moment passes things get foggy. So like, we don't know if something was yesterday or last week or last month kinda thing. We forget to do stuff, or we do it & forget we did.

That doesn't mean there isn't also like dissociative amnesia tho. From what our T said, the dissociative amnesia stuff is usually the bigger stuff from farther back - like we remember almost nothing before around age 16, and after age 16 there's more but still not a lot.

But when you talk about not recognizing your reflection, feeling detatched, forgetting what depression feels like, that sorta thing makes me think of depersonalization.

Sorry you're going through all this. We hope you can speak to a doc, rule out any medical stuff, & a T to see if you can get some help that way.

Also, we wrote a bunch more on this post in a thread about 'scatterbrainedness'. Might help, to see how other folks experience this stuff?

Also in that thread, Una says its common with anxiety and stuff, so its maybe related to being under too much stress?

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DID, general anxiety; previously depression, bipolar.(New) Journey Thread
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