Compulsive Lying

I just realized that one of the ways to start on the path to living a better and truthful life is to admit to yourself and others that you are a compulsive liar - even if it stings. I went from earlier today having no idea what I would find ont he web about CL (I searched up chronic lying to start) to finding a forum where there are alot of other people facing and dealing with the same thing as me. My lying has gotten me into trouble more than a few times
I amd just now trying to figure out how to deal with it. In another post I mentioned that I had admitted it to my therapist - someone I am seeing to deal with my cheating and lying. I have damaged my relationship so much, I dont know if it is even repairable. I really hope so because I love my partner very much. today my lie was over something completely stupid and something that I could have been upfront about but it was the impending conflict and feeling that I would not have or did not handle the situation in the best way that I was trying to avoid.
I dont really know what to do yet but I guess inside what I am telling myself is to deal head-on with the issue, don't avoid it, and don't make up a lie to cover it up or avoid dealing with the issue.
My lying is costing me everything and I want things to be different. I want my partner to be able to trust me, because without trust there is no hope that a relationship will survive and without honesty a relationship is doomed.
I hope that you are able to keep on that path!

I really am at the end of my wits with MYSELF. I have always lied and i do not know why, over the last few months it has gotten to such an extreme stage that if people close to me ever found out i was lying i would lose them all. I am so embaressed and ashamed to even say what i am about to say, i made up a lie that a girl i know had died. If only i knew why the hell it came out of my mouth! SO now all my friends and family think this has happened, and i just want to tell them it didnt,but it has gone to far. Sooner or later they are going to bump into this girl or something and i will lose them, i cant stand the thought of it. I just wish i could stop, cos its tearng me up. Just want to be able to be myself and not keep coming out with this crap.

I have always had problems telling the truth, over the smallest thing, something that does matter. But for some reason I would lie. I used to be able to catch myself and then it started that almost everything was a lie that came out. Ive gotten better to an extent but im sick of having to remember what did i tell that person? or did they believe me should i go on? Ive been reading alot online, and I know I need help. I am on anxiety medicine which seems to help me because I noticed I tend to lie the most when I am stressed or nervous. I dont want to be that person, and I feel like it has effected many relationships in my life. Any suggestions on where to even start?

Okay.... so I have been batteling with my lying for years. I am a mid 30's single mother, who left a really abusive relationship over a year ago. I am currently working part time and struggeling with so many things in my life. I have ADD AD/HD which make my life hard enough to deal with on a daily basis. I find it hard to tell the truth. I try not to lie, I know its wrong, but sometimes I just can't stop. It is really causing problems between my boyfriend and myself. He knows that I lie and has trust issues with me. We faught about the stupidest thing on Saturday, I lied about a what I was looking at on the internet. Not that what I was looking at was wrong, but because I was embarressed to say " yes, I was looking at that". By the end of the night I had admitted I lied, but only because he called me out on it and was relentless about getting me to confess that I had lied. He has told me that he loves me, but will not continue our relationship unless I get help, not only for us, but for myself. I don't know what to do. I've called to find a therapist, and want to get in to see someone next week, but I'm so embarressed about the whole situation. I know that I use lies as a coping mechanism because I don't want to disappoint others, hurt others, or feel rejection, punishment or embarressment, and I know the consequences of my actions.... that one lie leads to another, and yet I continue to tell them. I just don't know how to get past my issues so I can stop using lies as my cure all for dealing with anything and everything in my life. I want to live a normal, happy life, and I can't if I continue down the path I'm on. Please any advice.....

For most of my life I lied about a lot of really meaningless and very serious things to everybody knew. I have trouble facing all the #######4 even now. Even when I was found out I covered up the worst of it with more lies. I'm still not clean with everyone but I am alone now, I think I've also finally got a hold on the truth. It drove me crazy. What did it for me mainly was get voices in my head that pulled me apart and tortured me for what I'd done, guilt and shame. I'm better off now. But I wish I had never started out down this path in the first place, I wish I could go back and have a clean slate especially with my best friend. I've pretty much lost her now but our whole relationship was based on my lies really and I had her family and boyfriend in my head for a good few months for all the lies I've told her. I wish I could go back and build a friendship based on what is real about me and see if she would have still wanted me

Hopefully if I ever end up meeting and getting the confidence to be around people again I'll have this opportunity but it's scary. I feel worthless and I guess that's what it always was. Don't know if I said this right but that's how I feel about this right now

Hi, I'm kind of new to this and I don't really know what i'm doing but I just feel that I need somewhere to spill, and some advice from people who are maybe going through the same or have gone through it.

Basically I think I am a complusive liar. I first started to notice it at the beginning of my first year at university. I was meeting new people and I found myself telling completely irrelevant, unnecessary lies. For example a friend of mine would ask me "where did you go last night?" I know he wouldnt care whether I went out partying or just had a quiet night in. But I lied. My instinct was to lie. And the weird thing is that I barely noticed I was doing it until just after I said it. Now obviously to avoid looking like a fool, I would have to back up this small lie with more lies and the whole thing would just get complicated.

This is where everything started to fall apart. I met an amazing girl and she was perfect. She said to me in the first week of us going out that we would take a week "free pass" to do anything we wanted before being a proper couple. In that week I kissed another girl. I know its not the biggest deal in the world, but I felt so unbeliveably guilty that I cowered out of telling her the truth. So when she asked me what I did, I unflinchingly turned around and said nothing - an obvious lie. It was 5 months before she realised that I had in fact kissed another girl and sure enough, she dumped me on Valentines day. (score.) But throughout the entire relationship I would make up strange things. I would exaggerate details about my ex girlfriends, I would even exaggerate and make up things whenever I was ill. For example I would make it sound a thousand times worse than it was. Im guessing it was for attention purposes?? I dont really know. But I saw my girlfriend every single day and the lying became almost second nature to me. One lie turned into 2 and soon enough I would need to back those up with other lies. This is the worst part:

After we had broken up, I tried everything to get her back. Like literally everything. But she didnt care. Eventually I made up a whole story about me being seriously ill and that there was a chance I might die. I even wrote out a will, and sent it from a friends email address. I suppose I was just trying to get some emotion from her. Clearly this was messing with her head and she got distressed by it. Needless to say I got caught out again and now she wants nothing to do with me ever.

Right now I am just scared. I lost the person who loved me unconditionally, and who would've been there for me through everything - all because I lied. I dont know why I did it which is the worst thing. Secondly I feel that in the mindset I am, I feel like I just hurt those who come near me with my lies. Im guessing I am a compulsive liar and I am 100% committed to solving my problem. Maybe life will deal me a second chance with that girl. Or if not, I just want to stop myself from ever doing this to anyone I care about again. Someone please give me any thoughts, tips or advice. I just want her back but more importantly I want to stop lying full stop. That way if someone else comes along, I will be able to give to her what I can't give to anyone right now - honesty

I am 18 years old and currently living with my mother and my stepfather. To make this short I have always had issues with my stepfather. One thing that always bothers me is that he is always lying about me. Everytime hee has a friend or client with him he starts going off about how I'm lazy how I dont want to go to school ect ect, which most them are lies. I always doing sports and working. But to him it is never enough. He always tells people I wake up at 4 pm everyday and that I don't do anything with my life. Which is also a lie. I was wondering why he is like that? He doesn't have a stavle (spelling?) job. He is a hypocrite about everything he says. Any help on how to deal with him would be helpful too. I am tired of being hurt because of everything he says. I am tired of him always putting me down.

Hello out there. I have known That i am a compulsive liar for quite some time now and i just couldn't figure out why. It's ruining my life and I'm letting it do so. I could really use some help on figuring it out. I lie about just about anything. Somebody could ask me what i had for lunch and i would tell them i had pork roast when i really went out to subway! Its killing my relationship with my girlfriend who catches me in the stupid little lies daily and i stick to my lie. Why cant i just come clean? I think its because im scared of the consequences at that moment and i dont think about how it could affect me in the future. Is the considered a impulsive liar? is there such a thing? i really dont want to hurt anybody but everytime i turn around it seems that i am doing just that! i hate what i do yet i keep doing it. ive seen a therapist before but that didnt help and i feel like i have nowhere else to turn. Is there anybody in the same boat as me? if so i would truly like a response.

Brett.

I'm the world's biggest compulsive liar :/ It's gotten to the point where I'm starting to believe my lies, because I want the lies to be reality. And I've gotten so good at lying on the spot that no one knows I'm lying anymore. Grrr....

Quick question. Does compulsive lying go along with another disorder(s), or is it a disorder in itself...???

I wonder if operant conditioning would help. Reward truth, withhold reward for lies. I think this would work pretty well, if not for the nature of lying; it's deception. That means it's hard to know whether something is the truth or a lie. If someone tells a lie, and the person being lied to believes it and behaves as if it were true, the liar would benefit and be rewarded for lying.

I guess it would help if the liar set up a plan to reward himself for telling the truth, and to not allow himself to have the reward without telling the truth. The idea is to learn through conditioning that truth is good. For example, give up your favorite restaurant, and only eat there if you've had a "good day" of more truth and less lies than usual. As good days become more common, increase the criteria.