Definition of:Compulsive Lying

dzzzd12 - confront your friend, gently, tell her you are suspect of her having cancer, ask her why she lied about it, but try not to be angry with her when you do it. you are obviously a caring person and love your friend very much, confronting her is the only way you can cut off the lies!
it sounds like she lied for a reason, perhaps the need for attention, but, you should let her know she doesn't have to do that for attention from you.
if you let it go she may get worse and start lying more often. it is going to be difficult, but, you will be helping her in the long run don't you think? I have a very good friend who did just those sorts of things for me ad without her I would have never have made the changes necessary to reform my compulsive lying for good.
of course these are just suggestions! Either way it is going to be a friendship testing situation!

After reading the definition I fit that..........I have lied to my fiance many times, and he is very disappointed and upset with me. I am disappointed in myself, (to say the least) however yesterday, I admitted to myself that I am a liar and I want to change. I don't want to be this way anymore. I am sick of being this way........

This forum has helped so much.......I am reading everyone's responses and it helps me to know I am not the only one out there that has lied. God bless those that stick with their partners who struggle with lying.

I am making a "conscious" effort to think before I speak....control my compulsive answers to questions that are asked by my fiance. Gain control of what comes out of my mouth and tell the truth. period. no matter how much it hurts, or how upset (or maybe even happy) my fiance would be with me. I want my dignity and self-respect back.

thanks to everyone for their posts, it really helps to read them.....it gives me hope. Please keep writing. this is my first post and I will be writing more.

take care everyone,

I am posting for the first time. I've known for 8 years that there have been continuous lies from my fiance, I just didn't want to believe it. Thank God I never married him and I am financially independent, but that doesn't mean I'm not hurting.
There is so much so say in this post and I will continue, but not today. It is Thanksgiving and have a very supportive family and two beautiful children from my 1st marriage that I have to think about.
I have to tell myself this is not my fault, it is his and he needs help. I will be back! Thanks for this forum.

I've been married just under a year and my wife is ready to leave me because of my lying. I know that I should'nt lie but it just comes out. I don't want to hurt her anymore. It's not like she's the only person I lie to, I lie about things all the time, stupid things. I am going to my first therapy session about this in 2 weeks, I just thought someone could maybe talk to me about it in the mean time. b_dattoli@yahoo.com
thanks
Brandon

I have put up with a compulsive lying friend for 6 years now.
The lies were little to begin with but they spiraled in to more bigger damaging ones, so now I have tried to stop contact with her after she tried to split my friend up with her boyfriend in August.
In a matter of weeks she told me she had gone back to work (after having a baby), then she was starting her own business, and finally she wasnt going back to work because her boyfriend was going to support her! She forgets who she tells what and if you try to catch her out she swears blind that she never said it and then u start to question yourself!!
She became obsessed with one friend and started spreading nasty rumours (untrue of course).
She would text me and if I didnt reply straight away Id get a bunch of nasty messages saying what a bad friend I was.
She now reads my profile and always goes one better in hers but the sad thing is her profile is untrue and she actually believes that its true and we are all jealous of her. She is no longer my friend.
She wont admit to having a problem
If you are a compulsive liar, try to stop and - tell the truth, before you end up like my ex friend with the only life she leads - which is all in her head.

hi, I am currently trying to save a marriage that I have almost destroyed due to my uncontrolable lying.
As a child I knew I was telling a lie, but by the age of 15 I was telling lies without even knowing or understanding why.
I love my husband very much and it pains me to seem him struggle with my lying everyday.
Is there a cure or treatment for this problem. I want to make our marriage work but don't think it's fair to keep lying and having no trust in our relationship.
Also is it herediatry as I am frequently catching my mother and Aunty out on lies but they always deny it.
I am willing to accept this problem.
Is there any hope for Me and my marriage?
sally

I Lie I cant stop, I want to but it seems the lie comes out before I can stop it. I lie about little stuff, like finishing a book or taking a nap. I lie about big things like getting more money from a settelment or receiving mony from an inheritance. I dont know why I do it, I hate myself for doing it, but i do it anyways. I told my wife I had a problem with it today and went indepth as to how bad the problem is, she says we will find help, I hope there is help, I love my wife and family and do not want to hurt them anymore, but as allways am afraid i can not stop, I fear there is no cure, i fear that when it is time for me to see a professional that I will lie to them as well. I pray for strength, I have caused tears and heartache for 37 years and I want to stop any suggestions?

I dont know anything about phsycology but I think that with someone who compulsive lies (expecially my liar friend) she thinks of the best possible answer there is eg if i ask her what she did last night she has said she has been to a bar and bumped into a famous person.
It becames automatic to think to lie and I think thats what needs to change in your head. You need to flip the switch. If someone asks you something just stop for a second and think of what you actually did.
There is no cure apart from retraining your brain

I am amazed I was surfing and I found this site. What a huge relief. I had been dating a guy for about 15 mos. He lied to me about all kinds of garbage then turned around and lied about lying I thought I was going crazy. Then he would call me a liar! Holy Cow!!
So, finding this site and reading is a godsend we are no longer seeing each other but, it still hurts alot. I actually believed I could change this guy. Thanks for the good reading

When I was younger, I lied about a lot of things, but the lying got to me, I had a conscience.

If the lying doesn't get to the compulsive liars you are all discussing, it makes me wonder.

Maybe there's a DSM diagnosis for compulsive lying.

I think many of these liars are probably lying out of habit for some warped sense of satisfaction or enheightened self-esteem.

It's really very simple.

If someone lies to you and you realize they lie. Then they lie and you know they can't be trusted.

You will be building and rebuilding trust throughout your whole lives with this and every other person you have a relationship with.

Good luck.

Thommie