caught in a mess of lies that can ruin my relationship

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years now and living together for 2. Since we've been going out I've realised that I've been lying more and more mostly about stupid little things like blowing our money on video games or going to Wendy's when we dont have any money. When we first went out I used to smoke weed a lot and my girlfriend was okay with it. Later on 2 years later she decided she wanted me to stop so I did but that didn't last long. I started smoking behind her back (weed and cigarettes) and lying to her about the smells and how it wasn't me it was my friends any lie in the book I said it. She got over that fairly quick but it wasn't the end. I feel like I lie to her because I'm afraid of her getting mad or upset about the truth so I lie and she finds out and its a bigger problem than I had if I just told the truth I the first place. I've done it so many times that my girlfriend doesn't even want to hear the words I'm sorry because those words coming from me mean nothing to her. Were now expecting a baby and after being caught over and over and over again I need to help myself so I can build trust back from my girlfriend. Any tips on how I can stop lying to her or how I could apologize I've explained multiple times to her that I could be a compulsive liar and that I should do therapy but she seems to think its all b.s. and that I'm just using that as an excuse. I love her and I can't be the cause of broken family before it even starts. Thank you for all of the people on this forum that help people like me with this problem I finally found somewhere where people will listen.

Welcome to the forum and to recovery.

Here are 2 posts I wrote which will help you. One explains the psychological reasons why lying addicts lie and the other is on how to stop lying. The tips, tools and techniques will work if you work them...

compulsive-lying/topic115788.html

compulsive-lying/topic116107.html

As to how you can apologize... stop lying first and let your honest actions be the walking apology otherwise your words will just be seen as puff and wind.

Big Hug,
Billi Caine

Thanks bill I for the help

I think a VERY important step for you to take is to understand and pronounce that you need to get better for YOU. Not a conditional healing. By that, I mean you are only trying to stop lying to get her back. But you need to stop lying because it will make YOU a better person, and YOU'LL feel better about yourself, and your interactions with EVERYONE. Odds are, you lie to everyone, not just her.