Conversations in your head

Just wondering if its just me or if anyone else has conversations in there head? I mean i can sit and find it so difficult to say something but in my head i have the conversation and go through every possible outcome but all that actually comes out in the real world is "i dont know".
Its like i want to say what is bothering me but because i have already spoken about it in my head and found the worst possible response i get scared so i dont say "i feel unhappy, unloved because ..." i just say i dont know!
I can not comunicate my feelings face to face and this is driving my relationship apart but i just cant help it.
Sometimes i dont know what conversations are real and what ones are not.
Am i making any sence to anyone?

Definitely not just you, you make perfect sense to me, I do the exact same thing... Which is why I prefer to write things down but I rarely would show anyone because I'll have to see the person eventually and I'll probably freak them out or something since writing makes me too honest /:

So it's not just me! I do it all the time. And I play out conversations I've had with other people, or try to plot out a topic I want to discuss with someone- it never turns out like that in real life.

I used to sit in counselling sessions (not so much with my current therapist) and answer I don't know to most questions. I honestly didn't know- everything was so confused and going at a hundred miles and hour- how was I supposed to separate anything out?

Seems that writing is the only way I can get it all out- I get too overwhelmed to discuss anything and then close up completely.

Just to add: I have had problems with the "I don't know" as well in therapy... My discharge sheet from my last pysch actually said that I answer the majority of questions with a shrug of the shoulders and an "I don't know".
I never really thought about the racing thoughts being part of the reason why I can't answer, but that's definitely true now that you mention it lilyfairy!

I actually prefer the conversations I have in my head though, complete control over the outcome is fun, but disappointing because like you said it never turns out that way in real life

yes for my whole life actually LOL .....i could go on and on and on in them.

Thank you so much, it seems easier now i know that its not just me! I tried to explain this to by bf and he couldnt understand to the point where he was about to walk out last night until i found something on the net saying how difficult borderlines find it to communicate there feelings, then it all started making sence as he thourght i do this on purpose!
I had to email him while he was sitting a few meters away because i could not even tell him about the communication problem face to face! So frustrating and is causeing so many problems.

Great to know I'm not the only one! I do this ALL the time. SO frustrating when I can't answer a question that I've rehearsed the answer to at least a billion times. Or when I think I've thought of very possible way a conversation goes and then it manages to go the ONLY direction I DIDN'T think of sending me into a flat panic.

Nutter wrote:Just wondering if its just me or if anyone else has conversations in there head? I mean i can sit and find it so difficult to say something but in my head i have the conversation and go through every possible outcome but all that actually comes out in the real world is "i dont know".
Its like i want to say what is bothering me but because i have already spoken about it in my head and found the worst possible response i get scared so i dont say "i feel unhappy, unloved because ..." i just say i dont know!
I can not comunicate my feelings face to face and this is driving my relationship apart but i just cant help it.
Sometimes i dont know what conversations are real and what ones are not.
Am i making any sence to anyone?

Yes. I do this too to the extreme. It's partly why I keep 3 journals. I think learning to self express is key here!

Nutter wrote:Just wondering if its just me or if anyone else has conversations in there head? I mean i can sit and find it so difficult to say something but in my head i have the conversation and go through every possible outcome but all that actually comes out in the real world is "i dont know".
Its like i want to say what is bothering me but because i have already spoken about it in my head and found the worst possible response i get scared so i dont say "i feel unhappy, unloved because ..." i just say i dont know!
I can not comunicate my feelings face to face and this is driving my relationship apart but i just cant help it.
Sometimes i dont know what conversations are real and what ones are not.
Am i making any sence to anyone?

hey nutter, u could be me writing this ha.
i constantly have conversations in my head, have done since i remember...hey this reminds me of a post from before...........

borderline-personality/topic69924.html

just incase you wanna have a look at the replies etc..

Hope it might help.x

I have a similar problem - 2 versions:
1] If I need to tell a few points to someone, instead of just memorizing the points, I memorize the conversation - the words that I will say
2] Depending on my mood I will have imaginary conversations for a particular situation for instance, going through a divorce I sometimes have a martyr version of a conversation with my family or in a self adulatory mood I may have a conversation with some famous or important personality

I have started actively curbing this behaviour. Don't know whether that is worse than the problem.