I deserve a chance to respond

Well I guess Downtown is really interested in me because he created a list of quotes I've said from a great deal of threads that I've written in. For the most part I don't feel like I need to say anything because I think that most people know exactly how I feel... lets face it I'm not shy about my opinions.

But he also said this, and I do want a chance to respond to it... I have no intention of starting a flame but I've been publicly attacked on a deeply personal level with the following... And I feel I deserve a chance to respond.

Second, although Carmen says she is a Non-BPD, she does not say she is a Non like you two guys. On the contrary, she has posted in nearly every forum on this website, describing all the PDs she suffers from.

CarmenRose23 wrote:I have Psychotic Depression… So when I get really bad I have a lot of psychotic features, but once the episode passes… I’m ok. Maybe it’s my schitzotypal tendencies....[1/28 PTSD forum]

CarmenRose23 wrote:I Am a Munch By Prox survivor!!! [1/13 Munchausen forum]

CarmenRose23 wrote:My PTSD has kicked into high gear since Christmas[1/13 PTSD forum]

CarmenRose23 wrote:I have noticed that my Hypochondria tends to be a big distraction from something else that is actually bothering me.1/13 Hypochondriasis forum

CarmenRose23 wrote:My Big Brother is an Aspie, so is my roommate.[1/13 Aspergers forum]

CarmenRose23 wrote:Yup everything you described are common symptoms of Dyslexia. I have the same thing...[1/13 Dyslexia forum]

CarmenRose23 wrote:Agrophobia? ... I'm currious because I kind of had a brush with that myself... Only once though. It was in college, I just couldn't leave my home for almost a month... [1/21 Hope forum]

CarmenRose23 wrote:I felt SO guilty about being attention grabbing but in reality I was too ashamed to even tell anyone....[1/15 Living with Mental Illness] This was in regards to suicidal depression and getting help

PD=Personality Disorder. I guess what downtown was trying to say is that I am not worth listening or talking to because I have a boat load of problems. Everything I've wrote is true, My brother is an aspie, I survived my mothers Munchhausen By Proxy, I have PTSD from my Childhood abuse, I have Dyslexia, I've experienced one horrifying month of agoraphobia, and because of my mothers abuse occasionally i am a bit of a hypochondriac. I also have AD/HD but that isn't on his list. As a side bar however, Non of these are Personality Disorders. And the Schitzotypal was meant as a joke.

Yet with all these problems with all that I have had to overcome I have still managed to find myself in a happy life, improving myself every day, and coming to love who I am regardless of the things (adhd and Dyslexia) that I can't change.

I refuse to bullied for my scars, and I will continue to open up about those scars so long as someone might need my help.

CarmenRose23 wrote:I've been publicly attacked on a deeply personal level with the following... And I feel I deserve a chance to respond.

Carmen, your evidence of being "publicly attacked" is listing eight quotations of YOUR OWN statements. If I had actually attacked you, could you not find one statement BY ME in that thread to quote instead?

I refuse to bullied for my scars...

You are the only person doing the bullying. I quoted 14 statements of yours that are angry and divisive, all targeted at the Nons here. Not surprisingly, you fail to show any of those quotations above, forcing interested readers to see them at post323731.html#p323731.

Everything I've wrote is true...

I have not challenged the truth of any of your claims of having psychotic depression, hypochondria, schizotypal tendencies, AD/HD, agoraphobia, PTSD, dyslexia, and being the victim of a Munchhausen B-P mother. Indeed, I did not even mention your claim, in the Antisocial forum (1/28), that you now realize you are a victim of a sociopathic mother, not a Munchhausen mother.

Nor did I mention your statement (1/20) that your behavior as a child would be considered psychopathic had you been older. I have no reason to doubt any of it. Whatever your illnesses are, I am persuaded you had a terrible childhood. I am saddened that you were subjected to such cruelty at such a young age.

I guess what downtown was trying to say is that I am not worth listening or talking to because I have a boat load of problems.

No need to guess. What I said speaks for itself: "Although she concedes she is not a BPD, her very first post in the BPD forum (1/15) told us Nons (i.e., us non-PDs) that we don't belong in the BPD forum. Incredibly, she started writing this as a brand new member -- just three days after joining PsychForums."

"The strongest feature of this forum is the wonderful support that BPDs and Nons give to each other and to Newbies. Sadly, about a third of the postings over the past six weeks have been by Non-BPDs who come wandering in here from other forums and attacking BPDs (as occurred a month ago with Avalex) or attacking Nons (as is occurring now with Carmen)."

With all these problems that I have had to overcome, I have still managed to find myself in a happy life, improving myself every day.

And I applaud you for it, Carmen. Surviving that childhood, by itself, is a sign of enormous strength. That, together with all the hard work you have done in therapy over a period of years, is a testament to your fortitude, amazing self awareness, and great achievement.

I have seen the numerous long posts you've written in other forums where you are sharing your experience and knowledge to help others, especially those struggling at a stage in life where you were years ago. I therefore consider you to be a great asset to the other PsychForums boards.

Moreover, I believe you will be an asset to this BPD board too if you will refrain from insulting the Nons and insisting they do not belong here. As BK and Pounce explained to you, there is no need for a separate Non board because that is already available in the numerous websites devoted solely to Nons. Likewise, BPD-exclusive sites are available to BPDs.

Nons and BPDs come to this BPD board because we value the interchange between the two groups and the mutual support that is given -- which is unlike that seen on any other BPD forum. As I have said in other threads, the members of this board welcome the contributions of folks having other PDs and illnesses as long as they are not coming here to seek attention by creating dissension and bitterness.

I joined this BPD forum a couple of days ago and I have to say initially I felt a little defensive when I read posts from the Nons but as somebody with a diagnosis of BPD I am benefiting greatly from reading about their experiences and points of view, in fact it is probably helping me more than three years in therapy! Keep posting!

Applepiexx

CarmenRose23 wrote:I have no intention of starting a flame but I've been publicly attacked on a deeply personal level with the following..

Hey Carmen

I think you are missing Downtown's point in his posting. I feel sure that he wasn't trying to attack you - rather he was drawing attention to the fact that it is difficult to appreciate some of your posts because of a lack of consistency and a lack of context. If that makes sense?

For example, you mention that you are dyslexic. This information could be invaluable were we having a conversation about, say, 'War and Peace'. Likewise, the fact that you were Russian, that you had been to prison or that you were a Professor of Military History. This information would affect my reading of your post and my understanding of your 'point' too. It would also colour how I received the information or opinion that you were offering.

Hence your statement that you are 'no-longer' BPD (I admit I didn't even know recovery was possible - only management) and your occasional denigration of 'Nons' makes your posts largely meaningless because it is difficult to discern 'where you are coming from'. Framing them within any PD or descriptor that you have chosen to adopt at that time detracts from your message and baffles other posters. We don't know the context - because the context is 'shifting' all the time. So this:

CarmenRose23 wrote:And the Schitzotypal was meant as a joke.

kind of renders your posts as being without merit? For most people here PDs aren't a joke! Not only that but for those who are (by implication) reading your posts as by someone with BPD you are misleading both other BPDers and Nons too. Speaking from a 'Non' point of view - I've been misled enough for one lifetime!

CarmenRose23 wrote:lets face it I'm not shy about my opinions

I think this is a great attitude most of the time - but a real sign of emotional maturity is that sometimes you are shy about your opinions - or more, you think those opinions through and consider their validity. I also once took great pride in being direct and 'saying it how I saw it' but I think experience has taught me that it is not always the wise or the most beneficial thing to do - not only for myself but also for other people. It is in fact sometimes very close to the 'bullying' that you mention? As your opinion may not always be right and may do more harm than good.

applepie wrote:I am benefiting greatly from reading about their experiences and points of view, in fact it is probably helping me more than three years in therapy! Keep posting!

Hey Applepie - I'd say exactly the same thing about reading posts by those with BPD - so keep posting yourself!

OK...

I can not conceive of a reason to quote me regarding all of my issues out of context in the middle of a thread as an attempt to explain who I am to my friends, :pounce: if not as an attack. It is obvious that you have become obsessed with me.

I really don't think it is a good idea for me to allow myself to be further drawn into any entanglements with you Downtown. I have avoided you and your posts very diligently since I realized that you were the trigger of my initial panic, and the subsequent reaction.

I have no idea what you are trying to say to me or what you motivations are... and really I don't want to know, I am not interested in playing.

In short I find you and everything you do a terrifying reminder of past abusers. I'm not going to leave this forum regardless of what ever it is you are trying to attempt. I will react to you as if you are an abuser because you are just pulling far to many of my personal triggers for me to do otherwise. My reaction to YOU personally is deeply powerful and Visceral. PLEASE in the future do not associate with me, or discuss me and I will show you the same consideration. I am Deeply frightened of you and highly suspicious of your intentions. PLEASE leave me alone. Knowing how I feel I would hope you would, If I am wrong then you will respect my complete and lingering discomfort with you and please please please leave me along.

Normal... I've already asked downtown to not talk to me before...

I can not conceive of a reason to quote me regarding all of my issues out of context in the middle of a thread as an attempt to explain who I am to my friends, :pounce: if not as an attack.

I found it to be very helpful, actually.

why would it be helpful to you, we've never spoken before, and you weren't in the conversation? and what did you find out about me from the quotes taken out of context?

I must say this.....WOW! Not for nothing, but 'Downtown'....it seems you went through great lengths to find these quotes. I don't know what is going on...but 'Carmenrose' must have upset you. For me...if someone upset me like that...I would send them a personal message to clear things up (if I cared enough) or I would ignore them. For some reason you decided to try and humiliate and/or discredit them. Why? We are all on here to help each other. If you don't like her posts...don't read them. I am not trying to be mean...but I don't like what you did. It isn't cool.

These forums are here to gain insight...give insight...opinions...experiences...knowledge. Take it in....spit out what you don't want.

KM!

Wow... thank you. I am really touched. That said, lets not turn this into more then it is... I am just hoping this gets locked so myself and downtown can go back to ignoring each other.

and what did you find out about me from the quotes taken out of context?

I found out that you are the least appropriate person to be dancing around this forum, pretending to have any rational perspective on the subject, and attempting to position yourself as a "helping hand."

Honey, you scare the snot out of me.