I'm really tired

by **jaus tail** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:47 am

I'm really tired of this BPD. At times i myself doubt whether do i have it or do it for attention. the mood swings and extreme moods, for me either someone is good/bad that's it. but the main thing is the extreme mood swings, i'm not suicide but i wish i were never born.

now i'm posting this, but after hour i'll be the most energetic n excited n lively man around and then back to square one.

I'm yet to visit a psychiatrist. I read over the internet, the symptoms match. Mood swings, abandonment issues, I perceive people as either great or evil. My self esteem is very low, but then that's going to last for some time after which I'll have the confidence of batman. At times I wish what did I do wrong and then I think that being unstable isn't a crime so why am i crying..and then the cycle restarts?

I'm good in studies and very creative but I'd readily trade it for a stable mind. I wish i were like the others, like one of them.

by **sheeba88** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:08 pm

I think you should speak to a doctor/psychiatrist so they can give you a proper diagnosis, rather than guessing yourself.

I'm sorry you feel this way though, I am sick and tired of myself and my mood swings too. It is frustrating I know.

Maybe speaking to a doctor will also help with this because they might be able to offer solutions - medication or therapy?

by **jaus tail** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 4:35 am

But going to the psychiatrist/therapist won't undo the things i've done. i'm ashamed of myself. i tried to get into a group of friends, because wanted to get attention and ended up doing something terrible. i made a move on a friend just because i wanted attention. she has forgiven me but i hate myself. i am very guilty, and the reason i'm not going to therapist is because i cant undo the past. BPD's perceive things as white or black and right now i'm looking at a pitch black image of myself. i'm tired of being my own judge.

And yes i have an extreme sex drive. the reason most of the time i do it is because i feel needed/wanted.

by **jaus tail** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:51 am

I guess you're right. if only there were a time machine to undo the mistakes, the things of the past.

by **jaus tail** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:25 am

FInd a way for forgive myself...

Thanks for this suggestion. This is exactly what i need to do, i guess my mind was struggling around this thought.

by **aetienne** » Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:23 pm

666ismynumber wrote:Maybe you're BiPolar? How did the diagnose come about? Maybe you need a second opinion on your mental state.

This ...

jaus tail wrote:now i'm posting this, but after hour i'll be the most energetic n excited n lively man around and then back to square one.

... is NOT bipolar. That is BPD. People with bipolar do NOT swing around within hours. It is a common misconception caused by people trying to cram those with BPD into the bipolar category.

People who are bipolar have long periods of stable low or high states and triggers will not cause them to alter those states. People who are bipolar frequently are considered "odd" because they do not change their state when someone perceives that an event should have altered their state. Their state changes never are triggered and happen on a whim of their body's chemical changes.

People who have BPD have unstable states around the entire emotional spectrum (not just "low" and "high") and triggers will cause those states to change at any time and make the individual even misunderstand why they were in those states previously, even if it was a couple hours ago. People who have BPD frequently are considered "odd" because they react 2x or more strongly to an event than someone who perceives that event should have had less of an impact upon their state. Their state changes always are triggered, whether consciously or unconsciously received.

NOTE: I'm not diagnosing jaus tail, I am explaining which traits fall into which diagnostic category. In my opinion, the OP did not list traits that fall in the bipolar diagnostic category.

by **jaus tail** » Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:48 am

Why did this happen to me? i had a nervous breakdown in office, i just..i hate myself. now i'm crying but when i see someone else cry, i'm like. grow up towards him. but can't follow the same rule and then i get up and active only to die in depression after five minutes..

i'm not suicidal but i wish i were never born.

by **jaus tail** » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:17 am

I'll be going next week. i had an appointment for today but cancelled it because i thought it would fade. but it's only growing. every moment, my opinion of myself changes very quickly. i read a phrase and get inspired, and then i read the next one and get depressed.

I'm really tired

I'm really tired

ADVERTISEMENT

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Re: I'm really tired

Who is online