In the last month, or so, I have had regulars to this forums suggest that if I ever need to talk they would be available. Yet I am distinctly reluctant to talk about meself. And I keep people at arms lengths.

It is an attitude to life developed in childhood. Mother dearest was constantly intruding in everything I attempted. She even regularly attempted to control how several employers dealt with me,(and made school a nightmare, but safer than being at home) which as one might imagine had a horrible.

So I had to learn to hide.

Four decades on I still hide. I am still a wimp as well. But I can play mind games with most everyone. Which has now created a problem.

I expect to hear whether I will get some surgery next week after Tuesday, but because it is major I WILL require someone to collect me from the hospital close to three hours away, each way, from this abode (two of them being in a plane) - I wont be allowed to lift anything for some weeks post surgery.

This creates two problems.

1/ At the moment I don't know who to try and impose upon. The clear implication being I have to break a lifetime habit and rely upon someone (and let them close?)

2/ Until the end of next week I will have no idea when the surgery (assuming the surgery is approved) will happen, making a commitment from someone else rather difficult.

Wish I knew how to let someone close.