So I know I've posted this twice already, but I'm going to post it a third time because I'm proud of my alters and I want everyone to read this. So her we go.

ALTERS ARE REAL!

I want everyone to understand that much. If you get nothing else out of what I'm writing, please remember that alters are real people and feel like real people.

Everyone always want to focus so much attention on the host/hostess, that they forget that the host/hostess is nothing more than an alter themselves. That's right, they're just alters that are out the most. Why should we treat them any differently because they have the same name as the one they were born with? So?

This is why I call myself Kitt in the system. I don't want to identify with the body's name anymore. The body's name is Kailyn. But Kailyn is not me. I am Kitt. I am a piece of Kailyn, just as the other ten people are too. All 11 of us make Kailyn. NOT just me.

It's really been hurting the alters for so long to have the main focus on me and I've been too selfishly absorbed in myself to see that, but in my talk today with one of my case workers, I nearly cried because everything clicked into place.

The case worker said, "I want to focus on you, Kali, not your alters."

That's when it clicked. I sat there a moment feeling the hurt and rejection from the other alters co-con at the time and I finally understood. So I looked back and told her that it really hurt for her to say that. And that when an alter calls on the phone to talk to someone because they're having a problem and they get pushed aside because the case manager doesn't want to deal with them, it hurts like Hell. It really does hurt them. Because why should I get my need met when they're not.

I think I finally understand why they act out, why they cry randomly, and why they look at me accusingly and sadly when I ask for help from them.

ALTER ARE REAL!

Yeah, it took me two years to figure this out, but at least I have. The pain they took on, was real. It no wonder they have mental disorders too. They've gone through so much pain in their lives to actually cope with it, yet NO ONE wants to help them. It's all about the host. If the host is having a problem, everyone drops what they're doing to help them, but when I say an alter's having a problem, people look at me and say "I'm sure they'll get through it", as if that's good enough.

NO!

It has to stop here. I am an alter. I am an alter that is out the most but, I am an alter too. Meaning, if you want to help me, you need to help ALL of me, not just Kitt, not just Lauren, not just Lea, ALL of us. I don't want help from anyone who can't see that every single part in this system has to be working for the body to be okay.

So today, I'm making a decision.....

There is no more host in my system. I resign as the host. I want everyone to be treated as the equal parts of Kailyn they really are. And for those who read all this, thank you for your time. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for not overlooking this because it was "too long" or something. Just thank you.
-Kitt