my razorblades came today, wooooot

They're so cute, I just can't even.

They came individually wrapped in little blue envelopes.
Such novelty packaging - it was fun to open the box, the envelope and then the translucent wrapping.
I didn't realise they were so small - I want to stash them in a cute little compartment..i need to brainstorm.

I tried one out and i was ..shocked.
I'm not used to a cut being virtually painless but deep..
I must have been kidding myself with these 'scratches'
Now this must be real cutting.

So sick of having mood swings.

I was so happy this morning.
And then I went to sleep and felt guilty after waking up for not cleaning the house.
I shouldn't even be fussed over that but I was just taking it to the extreme - I was even tearing because I felt useless.
It's funny when I think about it now.

It made me realise that last year was a total waste of my life.
I know I want to change into a better person - be more confident, have a job, have money, be sociable and have more worthwhile friends. The thing is I just want to have all of that now.
I want to be thinner, friendlier, perfect.
It's just so off putting that it won't come instantly.

I personally am not sentimental, and I don't really understand how music changes peoples lives and what not. I think it is my lack of listening to lyrics.
I like music for it's melody. That's why I could probably like a song about the most offensive topic in the world if it sounded good and was catchy.

But then there's The Arctic Monkeys. I love every song they've made, from every album. Even their b-side album.
Particularly the Album titled 'Humbug'.
The mood of each song compliments one another. It might all feel the same but they are undoubtedly different, like each song is a different representation of the same feeling.

I still have yet to listen to the lyrics of any song but they just do it for me. I dare say, they make me feel like I have a heart for taking music not just at face value.

I was wondering if anyone has a band that they enjoy wholeheartedly, or have made an impact on them or have healed them in anyway?

I say something, someone say it's wrong.
I state a point, someone debates against me.
I share a fact, someone says it's bad for you.

FML. people, friends - you're annoying me so much lately. ACCEPT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY YEAH?
I'm going to call you out on the next time you ever make me feel like I'm worthless with no important contributions to a conversation.

It's like I have a dual personality.
One types formally, and with great care and consideration to my words and to everyone on this forum.

The other types casually, with more humour and jokes than one should. In a way that is so off topic but in a sense helpful in a humorous way.

I also babble a lot so apologies if you are confused at this point.

I feel like if I were to type how I personally feel I am - which is a casual, non-serious, sarcastically caring kinda of person - I'd sound or seem inconsiderate.

I am not at all inconsiderate! I can care, but I feel like I reach people more through humour.
And I don't want to offend people on this forum if I make certain remarks or add 'lols' to my words.
My sense of humour is odd and I am generally a weird person that confuse many.

I just feel like I have been appearing so formal and nonchalant and haven't been true to myself but I don't want people to be put off by how I use my words if I were to be more relaxed on here.

I am so bad at expressing myself really u_u