Some musings about being & doing empathy, or any other missing (positive) personality trait really : )

Human beings have the capacity to be anything they can be. Nobody knows anything until they've first learned it. We aren't born with empathy and compassion, look at little children, their lives are about 'Me! Me! Mine!', very self-focussed and lacking in awareness of consequences. So to me, I remember the N's inner-child issues and look at the lack of empathy as merely a missing bit of learned behavior in an adult body. Like learning a new language, I suppose.

If a person gets a solid, childhood basic training in altruism and sacrifice for the betterment of others and learns to be patient and not all instant-gratification when they're little, it's the best time and this early-learning can be further built upon as a teen and adult and more top-ups are added year on year to make a more fully-rounded and solid emotional education. Every day's a school day lol. This is what it would be like to be raised with one American & one Russian-speaking parent in the home, you would speak English & Russian a long time and when a child - a sponge of learning - gets older, they don't see Russian as an acquired skill, it's what they've always been used to and can't really remember the process of learning per se. However, as an adult, to learn a new alphabet and language is much more difficult. Train a child in the way he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it.

If you grew up only speaking English and you can't see any need to speak Russian you'll probably never bother to learn it at all or you may start learning but give up quickly and just be aware that there are other people who can and that's ok for them but "I don't need it because I've done ok so far without Russian so..." But then, you might want to trade with Russia because you can get something there you can't get where you live and it becomes more useful, learning Russian has more value. It might even be a niche thing that you could excel at getting and you'll be considered more successful. A self-focussing motive, yes, but if it doesn't harm anybody else and will have a sense of satisfaction that's cool.

Learning the conjugation of verbs is deathly dull but after you have the foundation, you've looked up the vocab of your special interests and the random subjects in your teaching guides combine and you can have a skim over a Russian newspaper and then sing along with some Russian songs on YouTube or have a go at an online game. One day, a mate comes up to you and says, "I've seen how important it is for you to learn Russian and I've been thinking of ways I can help you practise. So I've been online and found a local Russian Club who meets for borscht and a beer once a month (because learning has to be fun). I'll come with you if you like." You resist at first because it's out of your comfort zone but your mate gees you along and you go. Then you start building up a bank of memories that you enjoyed yourself every time you went & you find you're looking forward to the next meeting even if it changes venue because you're with a bunch of people you know. There's another person who attends and you giggle with them that neither of you are very good and it's comfy actually because it's not the end of the world to not be outstanding at Russian yet. There's another older guy there who gets asked why he's so fluent. "I had a Russian Grandma who used to speak Russian to me as a kid, I've just been doing this longer than you lot." That makes sense. Your original mate might not go with you any more but that's just how life goes really, you don't mind, you still Facebook with him and it's pleasant, seasons of friendships change and if it wasn't for him you'd never have gone to the Club.

After a while - and your perseverance, you can see that Russian is benefiting you quite a bit and you've made some new friends and solidified some business partnerships and you don't have the same amount of worries you used to because you have more money coming in from a new market which relieves situational woes and you are genuinely pleased with yourself for improving yourself. You could even holiday or emigrate to Russia now. While you're living there, immersed in Russian on a regular basis, you notice that there are things you can do to improve your wider environment with the other skills you have, made easier because you now are fairly fluent in Russian. Then your self-esteem increases because it's not just about you getting out of it what you wanted all the time and you have a decent circle of peeps (feedback is flowing freely now & you know it's for real not just ingratiation). You have the confidence to share your plans that have been niggling inside you for a time and so you get advice on how to become a regular visitor/teaching assistant in a Russian orphanage because you don't fear rejection of your imperfect Russian language skills, they're normal and get used every day and you think that teaching Russian to the kiddies while they're young would save them from going through the hassle you did as an adult. And when you have kids of your own, you know you'll start teaching them Russian straight away too.

Just a thought : )