Thinking about the possible reasons why someone would have interrupted our very well-liked therapist;

1. I am afraid of being diagnosed as DID/OSDD

2. I am afraid of being diagnosed as DID/OSDD and being told she is not able to work with me (not exactly rational- she has experience) and having to start the process of finding a therapist we connect with all over again.

3. I am afraid of being diagnosed as DID/OSDD and being told she CAN work with me and then be treated like a curiosity.

4. I am afraid of NOT being diagnosed as DID/OSDD and being categorized as 'attention-seeking' or malingering or otherwise faking.

5. I am afraid of NOT being diagnosed as DID/OSDD because its 'too soon' and she 'doesn't see it' and have to either a) be patient and improve on what I can while she figures it out b) start looking for a new therapist, or, c) accept the non-diagnosis and accept that there might be a different reason other parts of me with other names, ages and faces participate in my life, with or without me.


Looking at it spelled out, it seems unlikely that any of these will come to pass and, if they do, they seem more manageable. Now that they aren't clouding me, I can see that things will go well, and that regardless of the diagnosis she will believe and validate my feelings. (Though tbh I want the dx, or A dx, so I can have a starting point for confronting a few close relatives about the way they treated me when I was a child. I think it would not matter to me so much otherwise).