The covert narc considers himself to be an object, but it needs a subject to confirm that in reality. This is the covert NPDer and his spouse. The covert NPDer envelops the subject with his object(himself). It needs to become the one and only perfect object for the subject and the subject must not use other objects. The covert NPDer infact considers himself to be phallus and his subject is the mother(and this sublimates into mother-incest phantasies).

This is in contrast with the overt NPDer who considers himself to be the subject and others to be objects. This enables the overt NPDer to assemble a network of objects(people) which he uses as he sees fit. The overt NPDer is missing the phallus. (this probably sublimates into homosexual phantasies?)

From this we can see that NPD itself is an deep seated beleif that in the relationship of one or more people, one is always a subject and the rest are objects. That means all relationships are considered abusive, there is no other type of relationship possible for the NPDer (and the NPDer thus considers love and friendship to be lies).

Both types, covert and overt agree to this and both can act naturally as subjects and objects, depending on the situation, but each has a default state towards which it gravitates.

It is obvious from this why covert narcs(objects) are only able to have a few close people for which they perform the perfect object function and in return the subjects perform ego functions(validation of superior object notion) for the narc. This is a great burden on the few people who must do this for the narc and the narc is also very dependant on the few people for the ego functions.
I trust that covert narcs can perform as objects for very homogenously oriented groups of people such as religious cults that are more akin to a single big subject than many separate subjects.
There is also a relationship to "the world" which is influenced the same. The covert NPDer considers himself the object and the world a subject. The runaway grandiose phantasies of the covert NPDer are phantasies of him becoming the ultimate object for the world - the super-hero, the savior, the brilliant mind that saved the world with their inventions.

Overt narcs(subjects) have a wide network of people(objects) they use as they see fit. They perform the object function and the ego function for them. Since there are many objects/people, it is not such a burden on each one separate. Overt narc is therefore less dependant on each single person, he has more options for ego functions(validation of superior subject notion) and thus features higher self-esteem. The overt NPDer phantasizes about being the ultimate subject for the objects, the ruler, the king, a god.

We can see that the NPDer does not have an ego at all. The NPDers sense of existence and behavior is derived solely on the reflection/validation of their imagined counterpart(object or subject). The need for validation is endless because it's external causing the endless desire for more.

The inability to self-validate is caused by the fact the NPDer is paranoid-schizoid and can not see himself as both object and subject at the same time. One of these states is considered bad and one is considered good at all times in relation to the environment. The paranoid-schizoid mind state needs to keep these two as separate as possible so projects the bad outwardly and keeps the good in. This projection is what causes the NPDer to think he is the subject and others are objects and vice versa. Whichever one is considered bad at the time is projected onto the other person and the other person performs the ego function of reflecting back into the NPDer his missing half of the ego.

When approaching a person who is perceived to be stronger - it is bad to be the subject - you can obviously suffer abuse if the object rebells. This means that fear was stronger and self-esteem was lower than the other persons. Thus the NPDer will conclude that it is good to be the object and act accordingly(subjugate). When approaching a person deemed to be weaker - it is good to be the subject - you can enjoy yourself. Here the desire won over the fear of possibly being abused for enjoying yourself. The opposite pole is projected onto the other person and the dance of the power struggle and ego reflection commences.

The NPDer decides which is the appropriate role even more dynamically and on many layers. NPDer evades guilt by instantly reverting from subject to object. As soon as he is an object he can deflect guilt because objects can't be responsible for decisions. The guilt is deflected/denied -> 'you used me in the wrong way - it's your fault'. Covert NPDers ultimately feel the world uses them in the wrong way, they are misunderstood, their greatness will never be comprehended. The wrong way is obviously wrong because it doesn't validate the greatness.

The covert NPDer can only hold onto subject status for a while. He fears it because historically he has been attacked as a subject and didn't hold up very well. Still, there might be groups of people where he can succesfully play out the subject status with little fear but he must keep the other groups that know him as an object apart. This causes the covert NPDer to keep his groups of people separate from each other and fear his unmasking if they meet. The covert NPDer invests great effort into keeping a subject status with a select group of people or even a single person. It is exhausting. The overt NPDer is less inclined to do that, he acts like a subject with most groups of people so they all know him like this. The overt NPDer can become the object, but just the same, he can only stand being an object so long. He considers it bad to be the object - beneath him.

I think this final paragraph explains very vividly how exactly the disorder of NPD creates the ultimate machine called the NPDer. I have seen many NoNs here claiming conspiracy theories about NPDers being ultimately calculated. And they are but not by choice. They are simply always in the "right" position(relative to their self-esteem levels relative to others) regarding subject-object relation. But this causes them not to be able to see beyond this relation of subject-object.

The apparent cooccurence of OCPD with NPD deserves to be commented as well.

I believe OCPD-like behavior is a normal consequence of the covert NPD state. The covert NPDer is the object for the world and in that sense he is anxious about validating that he's a good, perfect object. This creates OCPD-like behavior in addition to NPD, especially if the NPDer is smart and has a wide wordly perspective.

A true OCPDers "subject" he subjugates himself to his efficiency, and he is the object. An OCPDer does not become an object for any live/real subject but rather an imaginary subject of "world order" or a person that symbolises the world order. This "world order" is only one of the possible subjects of the NPDer. It's like a base subject, when no other subjects of higher importance are absent. For the OCPDer it's the only subject.

Hey man, I noticed you're not receiving PMs. Just posting to see whether you're ok?

*mod edit*

I wonder if he moved to another on-line forum and moved there.

I really liked his input, and miss it, I would like to hear what he thinks about some of my newer theories. A lot of his material was over my head, and am meaning to go back to it and study what he wrote about several topics that I couldn't understand when I first tried to read it. I learned a lot from him and consider him a friend, one person who I would actually like to meet in real life.

Maybe he is just busy with something in real life, I disappeared for a couple months because of that, I still haven't caught up with what I missed, but oh well.

I did(do) worry (and care) about him, he was hurting internally (as many of us do), and I wanted to find a way to ease his pain.