peaklite's Blog

by **peaklite** on Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:19 am

so we got back together for a short while but i stupidly called it off... she did something to me but it wasn't really her fault this time. i regret my decision now, but i know all she's done is hurt me so it's for the best.

i feel really depressed right now, and have probably faced the strongest suicidal thoughts since the start of this blog. i'm not gonna kill myself though. i've also developed a lot of anxiety recently. i keep meaning to go to the GP but i can't bring myself to phone in and actually go there, i have no motivation at the moment.

on the bright side, i passed my first year of uni with 63%.... i revised everything the day before haha. i was expecting 40% or a failure and my highest mark was 71%.

my drug use has got to worrying levels recently... all i can think about is getting more drugs. the stress and anxiety of the breakup has led to me drinking heavily (not alone, but at parties and when i go out) and it has led to some aggressive events with me trying to fight people and arguing with people. when you feel ashamed of your behaviour the morning after you know it's a problem. hopefully when i trip on acid for the first time i can get some introspection.

by **peaklite** on Sat May 13, 2017 2:48 pm

i can look back on my blog from my first break up, pretty crazy how far it goes back

i can look back and realise i did get over it in time. not completely and each time i lose a piece of me, but it gets better.

by **peaklite** on Fri May 12, 2017 5:01 pm

relationship of 1.5years ended... she didn't seem like she cared and i called her out leading to an argument. didn't speak to 9 days and she ignored me. messaged her yesterday saying "i know this is what you want. so we're over" and i'm meeting her tomorrow to discuss. considering how much i love her i'm quite calm but i've been mulling it over in my head for a while and i guess she has... i just knew it was happening soon and it boiled over. took me a lot to message her but i feel relief already.

every time i look at her photos i just cry. once again i'm the one getting my heart broken. you always think this one will be the one but they're always the same. doesn't matter how long you have been together "i will always love you" is a lie. and i won't believe it from anyone else again now.

by **peaklite** on Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:58 am

so i got unbanned from league lul

also still no revision since the last post

by **peaklite** on Sat Mar 11, 2017 3:33 am

i am so ###$ for my exams in may and june

my angus is peppered

rip

at least

goodbye :)

kek

haha yes

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