hi there i have never done this before last time i ever sort help was when i was 13 i'm now 34 and if i dont get this sorted its going to overpower me as its getting to that stage now. i was in a bad relationship for years finally got out two year ago and moved to Africa . and was on my own but i have this overpowering urge to be with some one to have some one close to me here's the irony i have always been a loner and never really cared for relationships i could take it or leave it. well i moved again this time to northern Ireland and started out OK ish!, haven't been able to find decent work so thats getting to me i dont like not having money and its the one thing i never had a problem with before as i always had some money. well now i meet a woman through a would have been muteral friend and we hit it off really well started seeing each other and a relationship blossomed. then our muteral friend got really jealous and said a lot of rubbish to break us up nearly worked as we stopped seeing each other for a short while. we decided to get back together on the quiet and it worked for months with only a select few who knew about us but now the cat is about to be let out the bag and her head is all over the place i know she loves me but she seems to cave into pressure from friends and family rather than make her own mind up. normally i wouldnt mind what a woman decided and move on but she has got under my skin and i have fallen in love with her completely. we cant live together because she has 2 young lads who have been twisted against me by her ex husband plus its a catholic thing. every time she derails it sends my head to bits i cant think straight for days and i am scared of losing her for the wrong reasons (down to other peoples interfering) every time someone says something to her she tells me she needs time and cant see me for a while. this is what pecks my head as i dont know what she will do or say and i cant just leave her and move on becaus i really really love her and will wait for her boys to be old enough before her and i can be together properly but at the moment every things just mashed my head and i dont know how to deal with both my head and my emotions and when she wants space how do i deal with a overwhelming urge to be with her to ccomfort her. jeasus why cant i just walk away like so many times before