That's probably why I don't write very much on this site (da forumz), completely opening up to anyone seems impossible to me and if it does happen I would just constantly be wishing that I could take back everything I said. Even though I did manage to open up somewhat to 2 people on here. When I look back on those conversations I can't help but cringe at what I said, even if it objectively isn't awful. Just the fact that I wrote is enough to make me gag internally. Even me trying to explain something or making an argument is gag-worthy. This probably stems from hating myself (obviously) and thinking of myself as dumb. If I knew that something I said was 100% factually correct I'd probably say it **** in arguments and stuff like that(**** these are footnotes and me commenting on myself ) but since nothing I say ever is then ..why bother? And I'm too lazy and ADD to factcheck. It's a lose-lose situation. Just like my life