Saturday I had to go through an extremely triggering event. I had to have a bleeding time test. I have a mild blood clotting disorder, and to see how severe it is, periodically I have to have this test. They cut my arm with a little razor blade and time how long it takes me to stop bleeding.

The good news: I did very well on my test. For all intents and purposes, it was in the normal range.

The bad news: I was a cutter as a teenager, and the bite and sting of the test was so good at pushing out thoughts about every other stress in my life, I've barely kept myself from having a relapse. I'm been doing a lot of rubbing dull knives against my skin - I can feel it, and it will leave a faint line, but I'm not even close to breaking the skin.

So far today - I haven't done it. I'm trying not to go back down that route because it's so addictive for me. Maybe I'll try some guided mindfulness work and see I can be content with a partial destressing...