Signs your spouse is an emotional abuser

1. He calls you or your children derogatory names, like stupid, idiot, retarded, etc.
2. His jokes are cruel and involve your incompetence, flakiness, clumsiness, etc. and when you don’t laugh, he says you can’t take a joke.
3. If an accident happens, his first response is anger, even if someone was injured.
4. He abuses alcohol regularly around you and your children.
5. He is intentionally financially irresponsible and expects you to continually fix financial messes.
6. He complains bitterly about necessary expenses, like your medical or dental bills.
7. He loses his temper and pushes you and your children.
8. He hits and kicks defenseless animals.
9. He withholds interactions by walking around in a rage, refusing to admit anything is wrong.
10. He slams around household items to express he unhappy about something, no matter how minor.
11. He makes a big scene about doing minor household things, like cleaning out the fridge.
12. He believes your reaction to his behavior is your problem.
13. He ends an argument abruptly by yelling aggressively.
14. He extends an argument by stomping around in a quiet rage.
15. He instantly flies into a rage if you try to stand up to him in front of the children.
16. He gets angry if he perceives you are bossing him around or policing his behavior.
17. He uses aggressive body language and intimidation to silence anyone who disagrees with him.
18. He rearranges your things continually without you asking and claims he was trying to be helpful.
19. He checks in with you on the phone frequently.
20. He does not check in with you when you are sick.
21. He is resentful of you spending time with your family.
22. He suspects that your family has a unjust opinion of him and is continually encouraging you to leave him.
23. He is angered by any small event that he was not informed of/consulted on.
24. He is angered by any small information/decision about the children that he was not informed of.
25. He is enraged by any evidence that you don’t highly respect/admire him.
26. He will say/do the bare minimum to keep control and avoid making real change.
27. His moods and reactions to things are highly unpredictable.
28. He flies into a rage if you withhold information to avoid his unpredictable reaction.
29. He is dishonest about or denies past events that make him look bad.
30. He says women are too sensitive and histrionic if you are upset by his actions.
31. He is angered by tears if he is the cause.
32. He blames everyone else for his bad behavior.
33. He has a bad relationship with his own family.
34. He expects praise and recognition for minor things he has done.
35. He is unproductive and lazy.
36. He is ungrateful and has no ability to appreciate the good things in his life.
37. He takes pleasure in pointing out husbands and fathers who he perceives are worse than him.
38. He is highly sensitive to others’ perception of him or a perceived lack of respect for him.
39. He is highly entitled and feels society owes him a lot.
40. He is resentful of others success and good fortune.
41. He is often focused on other’s flaws.
42. He complains a lot.
43. He gets his way most of the time because it’s just easier that way.
44. He expects you and your children to drop everything and come running whenever he barks your name.
45. He is unhappy a lot of the time.
46. He complains about work regularly.
47. He is self absorbed and can not express empathy.
48. He tries to force his tastes on you, no matter how minor.
49. He will continually offer something, even though he knows you don’t like it.
50. He likes sex but he is not affectionate.
51. He refuses to go to therapy and if he did, he would be dishonest about his behavior.
52. He intentionally creates emotional chaos and then watches everyone scurry to fix it.
53. He actively ruins family holidays and special occasions.
54. He is terrible in a crisis and shifts your focus to managing his reaction to the crisis.
55. He apologizes profusely for minor things that don’t matter, like over-cooking dinner.
56. He takes no responsibility for his words or actions.
57. He thinks your career successes reflect badly on him.
58. He is threatened that your salary is higher than his.
59. His behavior has frequently messed up your career.
60. As a “joke”, he tells you that he needs to retrain you after your family visits.
61. He lives on a day-to-day basis and has no plans for the future.
62. He makes plans for house projects and then comes up with an excuse why they never happened.
63. He has no ability to plan or save for a large expense.
64. He wants instant gratification and has no ability to plan and look forward to something.
65. His behavior has embarrassed you many times in front of colleagues and friends, and you cover up his bad behavior
66. You never miss him when you are out of town.
67. You and your children look forward to his absences.
68. You continuously walk on eggshells, waiting for his reaction.
69. He doesn’t say thank you unless you prompt it.
70. He has very few friends and never makes plans to be away from the house.
71. He is worried he will lose you but has no interest in dealing with the problem.
72. He has a very low opinion of himself and has been practicing these bad behaviors for a very long time.