At least that's the conclusion I've come to.

Whenever people tell you to "be yourself" they either mean be happy with who you are, what you're interested in or they mean don't care what other people think about you. Or both at the same time. Depends who you ask. Regardless, everyone who uses the quote "be yourself, everyone else is taken" are so proud of themselves. Perhaps they think they're being original when about 9000 other people said it first. Or they genuinely want to pass along a positive message.

It's not really a great message all the time though. In order for me to be happy with myself I have to accept that I'm this cynical, pessimistic screw-up just waiting to die. And I have to be happy with that. Or something or the other. I'd have to accept that I'll always be this little wallflower who'll never stick out from the crowd or who could never do anything that could make me stick out from a crowd. I'll have to settle for blending in and letting everything pass me by and never achieving what it is that I want to. I'll have to settle for being mediocre.

See that isn't gonna ever work though. I can't be myself in order to achieve anything that I want to. I have to be someone else. Not in the sense that I have to go from being nice to being mean. Nothing like that. But I have to change from being shy to talkative. From hating myself to (at the least) liking myself. From keeping everything to myself to just not caring and putting my opinions out there. That literally means being a completely different person. Because if I'm to be like that then I'm not being like I am now. Then I'm not being myself. Therefore that's why I say that "being myself" is a terrible idea.

I don't know how to go about changing myself. Because see willpower can only go so far. And the positive self talk can only go so far. Generally I dislike optimism...or rather I dislike too much of it. It depresses me. I don't understand optimistic people in general. They confuse me. But that's besides the point. But in order to be a different me I have to be optimistic don't I? So then I have to understand the importance of optimism don't I?

Heh...I really don't get this whole being human deal...it's way too confusing...