Just as the headline says. I have actually managed to play computer games these lase few days, so yay for me or something. It's more than I have managed in weeks. Other than that though, nothing gets done. I hate this state, it stresses me out. Without any pressures from the outside most of the stress would at least go away, even if it would not solve the problem.

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I would like to know what is wrong. Or if there is anything wrong. It feels like something is wrong here.

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Too bad I can't make myself find out. I don't know how. Even if I knew how I would have to do it, and I'm very bad at doing things. Shopping, working, showering, cleaning, cooking, eating and even doing things that I used to enjoy.

It took me two years to go from deciding to absolutely, definitely go talk to one of the counsellors at the student health... place... until I finally managed to actually do it.

It drives me crazy.

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Most of the times when I write these blogs I am in the middle of one of these episodes of getting nothing done. It actually helps sometimes. Getting the thoughts out.

Before I sat down to write this I was laying on the bed and hitting myself on the head out of shear frustration. Contemplating the pros and cons of life. Staring at the ceiling empty headed. Laying on the floor trying to breathe.

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Now I'm thirsty.

It feels like nothing will get done today.

My day is upside down.

English should have a better word for "dygn".