Ok a bit of back story in 2013 I refused treatment and went back on a journey thanks to my angry lover who I couldn't love a cellebrity who released the song Dark Horse and I went on a journey and found my way to meet the archangels i there home territory somewhere in the universe, I then went higher and met a bieing I couldn't tell how it was a being it seemed like a purple outline of a butterfly just lights, anyway I went back to the archangels recently even though I am partially blocked on antipsychotic and they showed me a golden tablet very bright and it seemed to have a picture of a girl face on it so I went higher they didn't wnat me to go so soon but I did and found my way again to these purple creatures but then she got my attention as a human [anatomically correct] human and has me in a white room, thats where I still am she shows me things really interesting to me but I can't make out what they are back on earth she leads me toward sexual arousal and even on antipsychotic although the sex has tamed down but for a whille I was turned on nearly all day haveing sex trying to have sex with her, she nade me orgasm while I was smoking a smoke but since its been hard to penetrate her she is too delicate or something or a block from the antipscyhotic she is trying to get me off....I won't go on about the sex, she took me to a temple in a different part of the universe to be married, am very happy she is gorgeous and has hellped me a lot on earth....first it was with feeling like I am aligning tomy higher self with has worldlly fears with it, she makes light work of the fears till I miss them for feeling alive, I am at peace I think she is dealing with the psychiatrist and mental health workers although they fought back against her and tried to save me from my bride how dumb I got then all in the room that was set up for me so they can suck $#%^...

if she appeared to anyone no doubt she would show them or we would we work together lights shining from the stomach reagion after a doorway is opened there, some alien trick not sure what it does, but when she does this to me it seems to have a calming effect. but again I not sure exactly what the point is. she has made appearences and helped deal with my usual trips I get when I smoke mariijuana and stuff comes to eliminate me. she has fixed me up now I try my best to assimilate in her part of the universe, thats the idea that I leave earth to live ar her place wish me luck, not sure when it coulld happen I tend to freak out and do bad $#%^ when it comes on and put her in danger trying too hard to materialise there.

so now grown past Katy Perry Prism featuring Dark Horse and my new bride is treating her very well as my ex lover, since I met the girl she wants me back kinda even though on antipsychotic she ended up being mean to me and visitations weren't so comfortable it used to be that we were lovers, she tried to trick me into getting with it based on how my girlfriend is turning me on to sex. but mostly she isn't allowed to visit only my girlfeind is, my bride/

I wrote about this extensively in forums here on astral lovers http://www.psychforums.com/living-with-mental-illness/topic140851.html and later on in here my antipscyiatry topic http://www.psychforums.com/anti-psych/topic140347.html

Just tried to post my complaint letter trying to get off anitpsychotics and getting nowhere fast, all I like to do is talk about my spiritual perceptions, it was too long to be allowed...not sure what I am gonna get at by writing this blog entry, just complaining about not doing anything anynore lost all my taoist philosophies tahta kept me in good nick, remember about the mysterious function of No-MInd that I seemed to fully grasp and live in meditative state living...I got ruined by psychiatry, they gave me a drug that ###$ my thinking up some benzo. i had only just been remembering nearly dieing for refusing medication in psych ward and something they injected me with made my tongue contort down my windpipe after contorting my whole body.....so they gave me this drug and it ###$ me up right before being seen by psychiatrists that said I was paranoid about the medi9cation and complained about the blocked thinking, it had made me pass out and I had faught this off having a paradoxical reaction and agitated about my ruined mind, I used to have a taoist mind highly evolved and aware of its functioning and believe me when sleep deprived fighting off a coma from their drugs seriously ###$ the mind up,

So thats about one area I want an appology from the metanl health service..that particular story turns out the antipsychotic just ###$ me up enough that I wouldn't find a problem with beno's anymore its hard to describe what antipsychotics do so I won't even bother as IT probaly wouldn't make any sense....I know it was a problem on respiridone where I had an anurism or a stroke and lost my vocabulary and couldn't think of words and silent patches in my speech like a stutter and they said this was all symptoms as usual...I deserve an appology about that aswell......

So thats what I am going for but probably because my complaint letters get so long nobody will consider it and I won't get acknowlegemtn from the service thata they got me wrong and destroyed my good life and religious path...being obstructed from this path that includs astral visitations and projections all accross the universe makes it a problem withdrawing from antipsychotic to return to spritual evolution, it has drastic consequences making up for lost time on antipsychotic and return to places of emotional turmoil indicating karmic flaws in this incarnation that must be overcome so as living with this principle taht I never be born again and deal with all my mysterious karmic debits, stuff I need to learn abbout , it comes into having astral representations of peopple, once family went into pergatory, and then other people went to purgatory and I overlooked it, I have higher privaleges then my family perhaps indicating how I evolved from my upbringing and into a new world of my own with its own ideals, just my family challenged me as being uwell for challenging them and creating a symbiotic fluctuation in the metnal plane where I would be the scapegoat living out toxic worlds of inherited doom, it was evil to me and I wanted the bliss of perfection and new a better way then they did, I got ###$ over but my family is still there not realising I haave bbeen destroyed from the drugs they are giving me. They helped me move and feel like it was their mentality that had me fall back into psychaitry they felt at ease when I am in treatmetn it seems, they really shouldn't be feeling lke that though, its a real opiate for them...can't complain enough, the anitpsychootic has me dumbed to the resentmetns I have with them so I am nice so they think I am good, no just a zombie with nothing to say or contribute, mostly my mum calls me and says a lot and I just go yeha right ok yes no so forth, nothing happening this end seeya later at last she is gone.

Won't go on about it..just felt like a rant...sorry I missed the best details in previous posts, i put some details inthe comments of those updates if you will. like how I met the offspring of the incident with a goddess,...

[ Continued ]

its a long story, usually I write a lot more but on the blogs they have been short...long story about how I am adv ersely effected by antipsychotic that I lost all my spirituality and connection to god and the astral and spititual planes. it makes or made me grieve over feeling suicidal for lack of joy and inhibited brain function..my experienc ein general was a transformative episodes aligning with life purpose and more recently the arrival of astral beings into my life...I have lost this anyway.

what I wanted to share is that I was laying around as usual and started to feel like I may aswell be dead and thinkingabout ways to commit suicide. rather be dead then living like this on antipsychotics and to get away from psychiatry ruling my life would they rule over my remains tpreaching their faualty theory of the cuase of suicide to be as they wish in typical ignorance, so I wanted to get it out there and talked about it on facebook.

most improtantly and I tried to pray to get the gods attention to the situation, even though the drugs block this spirutal and aastral visions there always seems like there is nothing they can do about my situaation with psychiatry thaat is making me feel suicidal...so later I actually partially got what I wanted but already decided I wanted to get weed, before the weed I felft more authentic and had parts of my personality and idetiy functioning to my amazement, like I had a walk in to see the possibitlity to return to normal if I refuse treatment on a CTO in australia, and just do it and try to explain the situation to police, am I breaking some law thata the police will force me into an ambulence and forced to comply with treaatment, I will still appreciate the time I get, another story anyway...

so it might have been reaching out to other mortals on facebookk that sent me an angel or the attempts at praayer I felt higher beings with me thaat made me feel more joy with life, i need more of this, I am normally hai9v9ng higher being interract with me all the time and get most out of life because of my spiritual attributes.

its like if you communicate your concerns over wanting death to the angels or gods soemwhere higher just in prayer will likely help for they will send something to purify the emotional body and fulfill desires if they are karmically correct and according to standard respected by the gods, maybe its failing fight to justice that makes it worse for me.

I know a lot of people wouldn't believe me and no you don't need to worry about being a parent or anything, they move in subtle avenues of the astral plane.. I used to get visited and interest in a particular goddess of truth and justice I kknew I loved her and she originally came as huge could only see her face above me and extreme power I called her over resentments to do with an ex-girlfriend and couldn't really decide what course of action to take but she ended up being my firned would appear in feathers and a beak mask...in some events she used a clock like analysing part of my conscious minds and mistakes I was making I was heavily bombarded with other species around that time too so ended up leaving my unit and getting pulled up by police and I talked about alines and long story back to making ababies.

making babies was only becuase she kknew what she was doing to extract the seed we didn't have lustfull relation she wasn't a succubis at all..she knew how to make babies with me.

so this memory is long gonebut I thought since starting blog to put about some of my experiences.

so we made babies and some stayed with me around the house some didn't turn out so good more like crummy seed from me or that I was then coming off antipsychotic treatments.

not sure what the babies are doing now. I remembered becuase its fathers day in australia coming up, so this makes me a dad in some respects...I originally had anxiety over responsabilty to teach them something. I guess they are in good hands learning wisdom and being able to apply themselves as active gods or godess's they would stand for truth and justice.

I am on drugs since and don't have any stuff going on with astral plane or spiritual plane.

wish I could say more but sorry I dont yet have full capacity of mind given the antipsychotics.

This is probably faily boring maybe others have smelt what I have smelt like a sweet and cinnamon or something divine and like in the garden of eaden, I have thought its something to do with spiritual plane and very special if you are smellings it..It reminds me of churces and I used to get it a lot and remember wonce it happening in a churce thing and they had smelt it too but I was the reason it was so strong but theyfailed to baptize me and called me a witch, typical lower spirtaul beings doing worship to jesus I made them remember the angels and then they tried to baptise me and failed..I wonder why but a quack would say its grandeur delusions.

I just been remembering a time my cousin asked me to go with her to this new age christian church...what made me remember is that smell I used to get that smelt like pure and prisitne angels that was described well because I got the smell at the church and they smelt it too...I thought this is interesting and got some earthquacke things that were common and had been reading somewhere about what it meant in the library at the church, I used to be more synchronised telepathically to the good $#%^ to trip me out but just thinking its normal but I new this made me special...

funny enough I thinkk other people get the smell or in company of other religious or spiritual people I could resonate with making shopping malls smell like churches lol.

this used to be normal to have this smell like churches and the angels from chi-gung practice even not sure what it really represents, could only imagine psychiatrist would say its a delusion or hallucination of some kind but its interesting that other people could smell it like in the church..

what gets interesting or was interesting when I remembered that I went up the front for a blessing and they tried to baptise me I thought this is a bit extremem and they failed and started saying I was a witch...

If I could turn back time I would tell them that I was why they were smelling the angles they came with me kind of thing not a witch just coz I couldn't be baptised...my cousing jsut pleaded for them to leave me alone, I think she lost some respect in them although she found it good for faith healing.

Thinkking about the failed baptism and me being an initiate and higher spiritual being by nature more so then most mortals and unique, I know I am..

The drugs and my current unit means no spiritual smells like that anymore..antipsychoatics make me into a spiritual coma.