I have a 1.5 GPA, and got an F in political science. So out of 16 credits, I only got 12. I passed Theater and Phys. Geo with a D. Apparently I get credits.

I've been placed on the FAFSA warning, saying that if I don't raise my GPA to a 2.0 by the end of the next semester, I will be placed on suspension.

However, I'm not worried. All last semester, everything that could go wrong did. Dog died, mom broke down almost daily, jobless, TK going crazy, new alters in the house (by the way, I have a new alter in the house), more rape memories, a terrible professor and just general lack of interest in school when I had so much other stuff to worry about. Now, I have my drivers license, a great job at our family business, all the alters are emotionally stable, and we have gigs around town where we are actually desired and depended upon. Last semester was a depression; this semester will be smooth sailing, cause I actually have fixed everything that had gone wrong.

In other news, we discovered a new alter, Brian, aka "God". His real name is Brian, but he prefers the nickname "God" because when someone says "Oh, God!", he can just say "Yes?". Some of you might remember the story of Matt C., or the jerk who wished we had AIDS, cause it would be funny? He started that in high school. He's not that bright, he mouthed off to his mom too much and she kicked him out. Now he's working a heavy 8 hours a week at Toys R Us and living with his girlfriend. So, on one hand, he's working. On the other... he's basically earning $65 a week. So, $260/month. My dad, by the way, has lived in a bungalow downtown for 7 years at $450 a month. And the guy already has a job! Why not just work more! Its not like besides the sex he has anything to do! C. and him had a competition of sorts where they would try and see how many orgasms they could give their girlfriends, which eventually led to the "Zack-AIDS" paranoia and the "I hope you get AIDS, cause it would be funny" comment. As for the best, C. had a record 14 in 2 hours; he had 26 in 3 hours. Whatever. I'm at least stable.

So, getting back to Brian, we've been hearing him say "Yes?" every time one of us said "Oh, God", or something related to that phrase (It HAS to include "God" in the phrase to trigger him, apparently). We were about to drive home for the first time, and I was semi-nervous (not really, but I wanted to be to make my mom feel safer), and so I gripped the steering wheel and said "Oh, God!". Then he said "Yes?!", and we all freaked out. And from there, we learned what we now know (basically nothing), but he has expressed interest in having a British accent. I really didn't think you could choose accents, but he refuses to speak out loud, so I just said "Screw it, watch Monty Python a couple dozen times, you'll nail it eventually".

So, aside from the terrible 1.5 GPA, I do promise I will be posting daily now to keep sane. One of the things that helped C.Nic recover from "le whore's" breakup (Thats what he demands I call Kelsey W.) was being able to say "###$ YOU KELSEY" a bunch of times and write about politics. Hey, if it works, it works.

I apologize ahead of time for what he might say... you might want to take us off mod review to save yourself the pain.
-NicS.

So, I drove home alone today. I have my temporary paper ID card with me at all times now, until my real license comes in the mail. I went up Five Mile, which is a 2 way street so packed together you can see passengers tighten up, thinking were about to hit or swap paint with someone going the other way.

And the entire time, C., Zack and I were talking. And I JUST got this GoPro camera for Christmas, and it shoots in full HD (1280x1080, or 2K for those with a technical mindset) either 60 FPS (think Call of Duty) or 30 FPS (Gears of War, Mass Effect, really any game, actually) for up to 2 hours.

So then came the ingenious idea: What if I film us talking? We have a Dissociative disorder! We barley remember yesterday, let alone what happened today! There is always a giant blank spot in our memory for each day. We can remember Act 3, Scene 1 of Hamlet or the entire catalog of Network speeches by Peter Finch, but if we want to remember where we were yesterday, were at a loss! Why not have a digital companion remember for us, to fill in the pieces?

The first issue is space. If 2 hours of 60 FPS footage at 720p resolution eats up 4GB, then that means I could eat up 2,000 GB of data just saved about me talking! That seems like a big waste, considering how we don't really like to watch ourselves or listen to ourselves on videotape anyhow. We'd only save the best moments, compile them, and sell it as a documentary on mental illness!...or something like that. Probably not that, I'm just saying, for a personal matter, its great. The problem is that once I have that basic information knowing what I was doing, who was in front (as a DID-er for 10+years, you come to know who's up front just by seeing images of "you"), and what time it was, what the hell do I do with it?

So I think having a journal kept at 60 FPS on 720p at 1.5GB a day (roughly 45 minutes), we may have just found a viable way to fix our memory lapse problem. And don't worry about the batteries, they last 14+ hours on a single charge. This thing is awesome!
-NicS

See title! I'm so excited! I can be helpful now! My mom and my friends have needed help getting around, and now I can do it! AND I can volunteer downtown, where all the good gigs are. FINALLY!!! WOO!!!-NicS

Took long enough! ###$! -C.Nic

I think Truecrypt crashed the site. Might have just been a simple power failure, I really don't know. But, if you lost any info from the "15 hour crash", I would say blame Truecrypt. And viruses. OF COURSE.

Truecrypt is basically a file on your computer that is so secure not even the FBI can crack it after a year. You save whatever you want to this file, and it gets stored on a server you either make or choose to store the file on, and as it is being transferred to the server, TrueCrypt keeps it safe.

The problem is that it cannot be installed (at least not properly) if there is malware installed, specifically malware that tracks what someone types (or Keylogging). The reason for this is because TrueCrypt is notorious for having the most secure/stupidest password based protection since the ZuneHD: if your forget your password, you are f****d. No one but you can access it, so you better know your password.

I believe that one of the mods had the password saved just for this reason, and somehow got keylogged, hacked, and got taken down "For the lulz". The other hypothesis is that there was a trojan horse or other heavy virus that slowed down the server to a halt, and the reason it took 15 hours was because no one could remember the damn password!

Again, this probably isn't it; I don't know the basic physical tech used to keep the site running, only that it runs off phpBB. Please do not assume I am right unless someone in charge says "Yep, he nailed it". In which case, clap for me. Slowly, then get faster and faster, like in "Cool Runnings".

-NicS

*The ZuneHD Comment: I have owned this awesome thing for 2 years now, and the only complaint I have (Other than it uses Internet Explorer as its internet browser instead of letting people choose) is that the password protection on it is, without a doubt, the worlds worst. At least with TrueCrypt, nothing gets erased if you mess up the password 3x; with ZuneHD, after 3x, if you fail to put in the right password, it will ask "If you forgot your PIN, would you like to delete everything on here?". So, basically, if a thief nabs it and doesn't know the PIN, he just fails 3x and the message asks "Want to make this REAAAALLY easy?!". He clicks yes, and in 2 minutes he has a completely empty ZuneHD. Yeah, great planning.

That sounds like a great book title, doesn't it? Well, I couldn't think of anything else. Fair warning: The actual Sonic thing is after the 3 asterisks.
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One of the great things about having a Dissociative Disorder is that I only remember memorable things, and these things pop up at random times. For example, I was watching the very first episode of "Sleeper Cell", and around 15 minutes, there's a kids birthday party. And I instantly went back to my best one: There was an "Astro Jump". I have no idea how the f*ck we got that thing, but I loved it. It reminds me that my mom does love me, and knowing that makes me sad, because I f**king hated her for a 2 year period.

For 2 years, EVERY SINGLE DAY, she would come home, hit us, throw water on our beds and then hit us again, because a client "Said something rude". I stood up to her one day, and she slammed me against the wall going "SOME KIDS GET THROWN AGAINST WALLS EVERY NIGHT. SOME KIDS GET SLAPPED BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS ARE DRUNKS. YOU HAVE IT GOOD, YOU SPOILED BRAT", then she clawed my face and went to the neighbors house. When she came back, I nervously pretended it didn't happen, and cried myself to sleep that night. That is the most vivid memory of my abuse from when I was a kid, and its not even the worst one. I honestly don't know what it was, maybe Zack being raped by the neighbor or just our day-to-day "Go to School and get yelled at, then go home and get yelled at and punched" childhood we had for 9 years, but these 2 years in particular (I think I was 9 when it really started, its not like she said "Oh, its the new year, better start Plan B!") were collectively the worst.
***
I've always thought for years that mom made me go to therapy/psychoanalysis/whatever the hell it was in 2004. But then a Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 ad came on TV in the lobby (it was Cartoon Network), and all my info suggests that I began therapy in 2006. This ONE MEMORY has screwed up SO MUCH in terms of timing that I have no idea what the f*ck to do. Because of it, the 2 year hell period might have been when I was 7 or 11 years old. Maybe even 12! Without that basic example, I have completely lost the year 2005 from my memory. An entire year of my life is forgotten. Or maybe it isn't! Maybe therapy was in 2005! But the game in question didn't release until midway through November, 2006; there is no way any company, even a crazy-ass Japanese corporation like Sega would release a game trailer a year early! So, thanks to therapy/psychoanalysis/hoobedeegop, I have now completely misplaced 1 year of my life! Thanks, Sonic! SEEEEEEEGAAAAA!

But there is a good side to this discovery: Mom paid for therapy because she really thought I needed the help. She said it in the most insulting way she could possibly think of, saying she wanted to know I "Wasn't retarded", but she did do it. And it cost her at least a grand! So maybe she already knows there is something wrong with me. For years, she has (her)self-diagnosed me as Bi-Polar with no real evidence backing her claims. Maybe the psychologist showed her my DD-NOS diagnosis, or maybe even my DES score of 60-something (63?), and shes just been f**king with me! Who knows. Oh well. But with this memory, I think know I might have the courage to tell her I have DID. But, if not, it can wait until next summer: I am planning to take a class with that M. Rose Barlow lady I talked about a few months ago. Her specialty is DID! Now that I definitely know that I have DID (Thanks, kids who helped me out!), I'm going to take her class and ask her after a few classes if she can help me out. And who knows, maybe this could be like "Charlie Bartlett", where you guys tell me whats wrong, and I ask a F**KING EXPERT.

Thanks!
-Nics

Anyways, thats all I wanted to say. Oh, and if you ever meet or see my partner Travis L., tell him he needs to either work (EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT!!!) or leave us the...

[ Continued ]