I have NO idea how Jack Bauer does it. He escaped captivity, interrogated someone he just shot and then blew up an atomic bomb in the Mojave desert in under 2 hours.

What did I do? Look for Kelsey's pot dealer, go to her work and try to sneak in to a mall. ALL UNSUCESSFULLY.

We laid good groundwork, though. We hid ourselves from the security cameras by wearing cap, and we didn't wear a sweatshirt, only a T-Shirt. We never did that around her. With all the pot she smokes and the fact that she is still on probation from her possession charge, paranoia might set in.

I asked the manager for her weekly schedule. They didn't have it. That means she gets called in on a random basis (most likely), or the friggin manager doesn't have access to the schedule. She called security to ask if they had it. They didn't.

I got asked why I was asking for her schedule. I wasn't thrown by that, but my answer changed. What I had planned was "I'm just a friend". What came out was "I'm just a concerned friend, well, not really ME, per se, more my friend on her cell phone cause, well, you know..."

I really hope she doesn't get fired for that.

-NicS

***Triggers- sexually related discussion***

Now that we've officially passed that heartbreak that has held C. back for the last year or so, I have to ask: What is with everyone's obsession with getting laid? Why do we use a bunch of excuses like "Its just our natural urges" or "I don't want to die a virgin" to explain away pain?

More importantly, why does heartbreak hurt so much? If the pain truly came from missing Kelsey, why did C. try so hard to have sex with her again? He kept saying he wanted to be her boyfriend, but the rest of us always knew deep down he was simply trying to nail her. The fact that he couldn't was what was killing him.

And now he has an obsession with plaid button up shirts. He doesn't wear them, per se, but he "Likes" them, thinks their fashionable. I know whats really going on here: All the guys who get laid constantly? They wear button up shirts. He is simply looking for sex, while I am looking for a relationship. And he triggers easily. And screws up good things with sex jokes or political talk. He's very insightful and very smart, but he needs to know when to shut up, and that by saying "Screw you for telling me to shut up, you idiot", while a good trait, doesn't help when trying to find a partner, even for a one night stand.

We figured something out this last year: I'm the funny one. He is pretty funny, but I am the really funny one here. He isn't jealous, he isn't spiteful, he accepts it. My question is why can he accept that, but not the fact that Kelsey is gone, and won't be coming back. He always says "But there are clues that she still loves us!". My response to that would be "So what? I leave clues that I hate milk by letting it go sour. Does that mean I enjoy terrible tasting curdled crap?" No! I would throw it out like Kelsey. I don't hate her, but I still do not have any idea why she did what she did. She is now dating someone 12 years older than herself, who was her previous boyfriend's roommate (and, to my understanding, still is).

I'm training myself to be an investigative reporter, because I believe that is the most important job in the world. So I have decided to look into solving this mystery without Kelsey knowing, her family, or anyone who would truly care. And the reason I am doing this in secret is because I know this will draw her out. With the evidence I may collect, I be able to coax an answer out of her. But only time will tell.

I will be updating my progress every three days. I want to make it clear, I am not stalking her. I might later down the road, but for the first 2 weeks of investigation, I need to simply look through the info I have available: Facebook profiles, messages sent via email, IM, chat, info from co-workers, etc. I'm going all out, just because I need to help C. move on from this... woman.

The reason I am posting all this publically is because this is INSANE, and I need to be talked out of it. But, since no one is, I've got nothing going on, and since no one wants to hire us (GEE, I WONDER WHY?!!), we have all the time life will allow.

Join in the fun, won't you?

-NicS

C. and I have been having this weird thing happening, where he says something in my voice, or we don't know who said what, and I get confused and think C. is the core. He INSISTS that I am the core, and he always has this proof, but I think its that he knows that I'm scared I might not be the core. We know that I am the core, but the thought that I might not be scares me.

Zack has gotten more comfortable with us, and, about a month ago, disclosed he was a hedgehog. Kind of an out of the blue sort of thing, but it makes sense. He says he looks like a Sonic the Hedgehog-style character, and when he looks in the mirror, he see's a muzzle and big eyes, and not our face. He is constantly raising his pelvis (when he's in front) and brushing our lower back. He says he's moving his tail, which, again, makes sense, as the part he's always moving is the same part we had cyst removal surgery on.

We believe him, by the way. Everything he says makes sense when he explains it. The reason he didn't tell us before was C. was so fervent on saying "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ANIMAL ALTERS!!!".

TK has gotten smart. He refers to himself as the "New TK" when comparing himself to the "Old TK". He's apparently very smart, but, because of his philosophy, he thought he had to play dumb and be all "MURDER!MURDER!MURDER!" 24/7.

Brian doesn't speak at all. He wants to master a "Benedict Cumberbatch"-style voice before he talks out loud. Until then, he is only talking through sign language. Unfortunately, he doesn't KNOW how to use sign language. And we suck at learning new languages, so this could take a while.

Derrick feels neglected, but at the same time, when we pay attention to him, he doesn't want to talk. I'm getting worried about him.

David knows the lyrics to all the songs that get played on 94.9, "The River". We have established he is 42 years old, lived in Boston for 24 years with his ex-wife, Madeline, and moved to Boise because she wanted a divorce because he was gay, and she felt the whole marriage was a lie. He is still devastated that she was so hurt. He's now like our psychiatrist, and he is pretty good.

I haven't heard from JR2 in 2 months. We know he's not dead, because when we ask, he very angrily say's "I'm not dead". But he doesn't speak much outside of that.

I passed 2 out of my 3 classes this semester. When I saw I had a C in Physics, I almost cried. I was so damn happy. Now we have a good 16 credits minimum, 24 credits max... I don't have my chart in front of me, so I can't be absolutely sure where we are, but the fact that were this far along in a year... well, that's just mind-blowingly awesome to me.

So, yeah. Thats basically what we've learned about each other in the past year or so. Not bad, eh?

-NicS

This is a general message to anyone who cares. We got kicked out of the house, invited back, then kicked out again. We've been invited back, but we said "No". Were breaking the cycle.

Were living in poverty downtown with our dad. I've been sleeping on an air mattress with a sleeping bag without a zipper.

Its not like other young people when they're broke and on their own, they say "WERE SO DAMN HAPPY", its not like that at all.

But at least were not constantly depressed.

Were still employed, were still getting bad grades... but we made it through 1 year of college! And thats all that really counts!

Alright. I'm going to bed in 3 hours, so if you want to talk, PM me. I really have nothing else going on down here, and, as it turns out, my neighbors wifi password is "123456".

-NicS, C.Nic, David, Derrick, Brian, Zack, TK & JR2.

So, in the DID forums, someone posted something about Dr. Phil (Yes, the electrician...) having a show on DID. Someone else found this form:
http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=15069

"Are you or someone you know struggling with multiple personality disorder, otherwise known as dissociative identity disorder? Does your family not understand? Or maybe you haven't told them about it? Are you comfortable switching between your different personalities?

If you have been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, write in today! Please only respond if willing to appear on national television."

That is a copy and paste, word for word description of what they're looking for... and I'm thinking of exploiting it.

Sure, it'll make the DID community look bad. But on the other hand, WHAT THE ###$ KIND OF ######6 ADVICE WILL DR. ###$ PHIL GIVE A ######6 DID-ER ANYWAY?! "You know, whats good for the frog ain't necessarily good for the dog".

Lewis Black was right. Dr. Phil is the gateway drug to Heroin. Who would have guessed?

Still thinking of what we can do. Suggestions welcome.

-C.Nic