I've come to realise that I have suppressed every betrayal and now the Crazy Lady is there and just won't go away. She is hurt from years of bad treatment and she is needing to be heard and she is saying "NO MORE". This last episode feels like it has catapulted years of dirty laundry over the freeway. I don't know why I have that visualisation... but I do. Prolly coz I was just crying from the depths of my soul as I was driving along the freeway... it's like all years of deceit, lies and betrayal just vomitted out of me. I think I need to learn how to take back my sense of self and not let abusive behaviour take me right down. Tomorrow I will suppress it again. Three days of crazy lady having her way is enough... she needs to be heard but she gets a bit tedious. I need to disconnect my sense of self from poor treatment. I need to look for more reliable people in my life. I need to be more self reliant. I am a nutter, so I do need to reach out in the way of therapy and meds thou. I'll try and put it into creativity some way.

Dear Crazy Lady,

You have every right to come out. You have been through so much and it is not fair. I hope that by crying it out you have got rid of some of the poison inside.

Cracked

Gee, you are a wonderful person Cracked, you brought happy tears to my eyes x thank you you are very special - one in a million

So are you xxx