Hmm... well, seems I'm not losing my mind... my nosedive into the blah-blah's is apparently hormone driven. Monthly gift visited upon me today. You'd think after decades and decades of this once-a-month event, I would REMEMBER that every 25 days or so my hormones go bonkers. Slow learner.

So before I realized that my hormones were exploding I decided to call up a good friend I'd dropped contact with during the last month of BP dx craziness. Apparently my love's ex wife is not only bombarding my love with "omg, I just realized I really do love you" emails twice a day (for the last month), she's also trying to woo my other friend with "you know, you're the type of man I've always dreamed of" emails. (Mind you, these people in my life are thousands of miles apart and this woman has somehow managed to invade my life in an indirect way like this for the last 20 years... too long to explain... it's like this wierd 6-degrees thing I can't seem to escape). Anyhow, I lost it and bawled my eyes out. Not only is she messing with my love when he's fragile, he's completely unaware that she's up to her old tricks (for the record, while they were married she had 12 affairs that he had proof of). I cried not because I was wallowing in pity, but because this woman is just the epitome of the type of women that give all women a bad rep. I can't even begin to list all of the psychological issues this woman personifies. Unfortunately this mess of a woman is the mother of my love's child, so she'll be screwing with him for the next few decades.

No, I can't pick the simple men to fall for... I pick the ones with messes to fall in love with.

Grrrrrrrr.

Oh well. At least I know my last two days of crap attitude is hormones. Man, I can't wait for menopause.... bring on the hotflashes.... I'm ready to be done with this monthly nonsense!!!!!

Sadly if the simple men were tempting, we would be falling for them. Its the messes that apparently attract us. Forget opposites attract, lol!