This time I'll put the list in some kind of life experience order
Drug experimentation(Adolescence) Pot, Hash, Mushies, Trips, Speed and Alcohol(started age 14)
Confusion
Paranoia
Possible brain damage
Social Anxiety Disorder
Obsessive thought patterns
Laughed at
Loss of confidence
Friendships lost (Avoided friends due to low self esteem)
Trouble starting worthwhile relationships
Self medication with alcohol
Constant sadness and regret inside(want to be the old me)
Struggle at every job due to Social Anxiety(never sacked though/good work ethic)
Many years of life wasted
Developed a very real empathy for others who suffer from mental disorders
Depression last year( I never thought I would consider suicide so seriously)
Change of location
Back with loved ones
On medication that works for me
Enjoying every day I can with wife and children
Don't ever give up, all you people out there struggling from day to day, don't EVER give up.Ok?......
Good luck guys and girls.

It is what it is:
Very few friends.
Laughed at.
Gossiped about.
#######3 at.
Ripped off.
Taken advantage off.
Trouble starting relationships.
No confidence.
Depression.
Confusion.
Anxiety.
Alcohol abuse.
Second guessing myself often.
Wasted many years of life.
Struggled at work.
Avoiding others.
Scared of confrontation.
Hiding how terribly sad I was inside.
And yet here I am.....two beautiful children and a lovely wife.
What a wonderful world ...............

Ok so to put it simply, this has been the greatest result I could have hoped for after 4 months of this med. I was thinking to myself this morning in the shower that this is easily the best I have felt inside. myself in a long time
Worry is basically an emotion that is almost gone from my life now and all I can say is good riddance!
As someone who has lived with Social Anxiety for many years now I have basically stopped worrying about things that happen during the day, how I acted in front of other people, what others think of me etc... Beautiful, I still have times when I'm nervous around others and lacking in confidence but once the moment is over I basically just don't give a f@$! what people think of me.
Also the grief that intrusive thoughts were causing me has been eliminated, once the thoughts stopped receiving their fuel(my anxiety and worry about what these thoughts meant) then life just got a whole lot better.I still have some intrusive/unwanted thoughts each day ( usually the same thoughts) but the frequency and distress caused by them has been greatly reduced ( greatly reduced fuel for the unwanted thoughts).
I am very glad I worked my way through the hard first few weeks or so.
I know a lot of people bag Paroxetine but it really has helped me and I'll take the happiness while I can.

Well all I can say after nearly two months of Paroxetine is wow! It's like worry has left my life, the difference in my temperament is very positive and loved one's are commenting on the change in me. I am a lot happier overall that's for sure. Like I said in a previous blog, it's not a miracle cure for my Social Anxiety or OCD type thoughts but I am now very accepting of myself as a person overall. So a lot less worry, more acceptance of lifes ups and downs, a fraction of the obsessive negative thoughts of myself as a person and so on

The continuing side effects are as follows, still some tiredness, not as regular bowel movements, short term memory not as good as normal and some extra sweating. However for me the positives far outweigh the negatives. This has been great so far and I'm so glad I worked through the terrible tiredness that was a side effect for the first few weeks.I really hope this lasts.

It's been about a month now and the only side effects left are a little tiredness and lazyness but the positives far outway the negatives. I have all-but stopped my excessive worry about negative events from my past, all-but stopped worrying about what people think of me, I just feel really calm about my life, past and present.
I'm not cured, I still have unwanted/intrusive thoughts and my social anxiety still kicks in sometimes I'm just not spending anywhere near as much time beating myself up inside because I have problems. This medication so far is working very,very well for me.It seems to have given me a level of calmness that was missing before and I feel like I am better equiped to deal with life in general. I'm finding it easier to generate positive thoughts in my mind. This is coming from someone who has resisted medication for years.Anyway past midnight here in Oz and I need a rest after work tonight ,I just wanted to share my positive experience so far with this SSRI. To all those suffering out there with Mental problems , take care.
Anthony.