I have not included much about me, but I can say that this condition has effected my life. The whole of my life. I truly believe that it all started when I was a child. I am a middle child. 'Attention seeker' my mother called me. Now, as an adult, why, why was I an attention seeker??? What reasons made me that way???

When an adult and I tried talking to my mother about depression, her reply was that I attended a session at the local gym!!
I had a relationship with someone and when I told him that I suffered from 'middle child syndrome', his reply was, 'does that mean that there is such a thing as 'single child syndrome?' Needless to say that relationship did not last.
It has taken me all my adult life to try and get ppl to understand what my 'illness/condition' is and how it effects me, and even now I still feel as if I am battling.
I have trouble with relationships, jobs, people in general, confidence/self belief, etc etc.
I quite often hear me saying and thinking, 'I just wish I could be normal'.
My phyc says that I have to change the way I think......but when you have been used to thinking in a certain way for nearly 50 yrs, that is not so easy to change?

I have fought for years for answers, I just hope I won't have to fight anymore. I am in the process of my second course of CBT and things seem to have improved since the last time I had counselling.
My councillor seems to understand me better. The psychiatrist I saw primarily was amazing, she managed to get help for me a lot sooner than I thought was possible, and she was aware of the 'middle child syndrome' and that in itself meant so much to me.

I would like to write a book. What is stopping me?? Motivation. I have very little when it comes to do anything at all.
I would so much like to meet people like me....pls don't be shy. x