Its quiet over here, nothing but staring at my obligations and waiting for them to be fulfilled in some magical way.

I am a bit like my grandfather, he says he does things when he feels like the time is right to do them.
And then he gotta do them.
I am that way too, so i guess that runs in the family?

I have a ton of recykling to do, then i have to do the washing up, go and work out and mop the floor. (Maybe not in that order?).

Then i have to fold my clean clothes and put on another wash

Yepp this sunday sucks big time.
Last weekend i enjoyed a skiing trip but now the snow is too icy for me to walk on it(or maybe i am just making up excuses?), Its best to go skiing when the snow is new, because its lose and won`t hurt when you fall. Also its easier to break. So not much happening north except for a few plans and some procrastination but i guess there`s nothing new about that...

Yawn..i am going back to bed.

The washing basement is ready for the tip.
There used to be two washing rooms adjoined in this building (that people from other blocks around could use), i only had to go down stairs to wash when i first moved in here.

We had a drying room with a fan that would heat almost everything in just one hour, and since we had two of everything we didn`t "starve"...
A few year ago one of the washing machines stopped working, so they closed that washing room.
Now we only have one which is shared by many and the fan there isn`t working so your clothes won`t dry for many days.
Even if you do get drying time in the horrible drying room, you might be the subject of a frustrated wife`s anger and she will then take down all your clothes while they are still wet. So the 30 min you spent hanging them up was futile.

Another thing that isn`t working is the brain of one of my neighbours, she thinks she is a raven and steals everything, including other peoples washing time, money, and drying racks.

Many times i have come down to find my clothes either too wet or too dry, depending on how much washing she needed to do in my paid machine.

She goes in there after you have put on a machine, takes out your clothes and puts her own in it.

Then she stops the machine when her clothes have had a bath and puts yours back in, so they might not get the centrifuge at the end, or the wash at the beginning?

When the heat fan in the drying room stopped working, the board got a dryer that is ecologically friendly, instead of using heat it sucks your clothes dry and uses less energy(?), which means less expenses for the board(even thou they increased the price by 100% for 7 years ago, a washing coin used to cost 1 pound, now it costs 2!)
Seriously my clothes would dry faster if i stood there breathing on them.

Now it takes clothes 3 days to dry.

We have complained about it but no changes were made.

Every time i go down to the washing basement there is a new problem.

Its old and belongs to the tip.

The janitor told me that they might close it in the future to make it in to flats instead, so they are not spending money to fix it.
Also since all the houses have got new façades in this area( a lot of blocks that belong to the same company, don`t know what you call it?) they have no pennies to use any more.

That has resulted in a cut down, they have now stopped sending over a compactor car that used to come every 3 months to drive away rubbish(not ordinary rubbish but furnitures, beds, shelves etc)

We had that free for many years but we now have to transport it away ourselves and that costs a lot of money.

Also the janitor told me that we have paid for that compactor car in our rent, but our rent will not go down because we are paying for the facade make over(which caused our rent to go up, think it was 24%?, some people moved because it got higher.)

Right now i feel as if i am paying a lot of money to live in a tip.

My kitchen dates back to the 60`s and i don`t have money to fix it, same goes for my bathroom, but that will lasts for a few more years i think.

I can`t move because i am in a "system" that won`t let me take up a new house loan, i am a temporary non worker which i have been for the last 10 years.

In England they call it the dull, its when you receive social security.
We have different levels of security.

They have made me wait for a permanent non worker status for 10 years, and still won`t give it to me, despite that i have tried everything to get a job.
Its not getting a job that is the problem, but managing to work.
I have a lot of health issues.

So i am still a temporary non worker which diminishes my rights and money.

So to "earn" money on me they keep me on that because they can save 100 pounds a month on it.

I have a friend who has less health issues then i have and she got the permanent status immediately when she got depressed.

I have tried for many years to get back into the ...

[ Continued ]

Oh forgot to mention that i also had to pay 50 pounds for the electric to remove a sodding oven that i hadn`t put there

I had a fire inspection (a guy who comes in assessing the electric system and looking for hazardous situation), he told me that the wall oven (which i never use) was too close to the cupboard underneath, so i had to remove it....

Since it was mounted on the wall with a wire that was connected to a light switch(not a socket), i had to call a electrician to remove it, while he was here i got him to install the socket in my bathroom because this old flat didn`t have one there.

I guess it wasn`t allowed or needed to have a socket back in the days when they built this place, since they didn`t have electric gadgets for the bathroom like electrical toothbrushes or razors.
They have a washing basement here that is meant for the everybody, so the bathrooms aren`t designed for washing machines either.
WHAT ever happened to just plugging it in and hitting the start button?

My flat looks more like a tip, i have a big box lying around and a dirty floor.

Today i removed the bathtub so i can place a washing machine there instead, the area underneath the tub hasn`t been cleaned in about 20 years so it looks filthy.

Then i bought an electrical drying rack on sale, in hopes to save the money on a tumble dryer, but now i see the washing machine and rack won`t both fit in the bathroom.

I only have 30m2 and not even that when you put in big furniture, so its not so easy cramming in a big rack.

Wondering if i should buy a tumble dryer yet that will amount the sum on an already growing bill(had to pay 900 pounds to get the bathtub and an old toilet removed/thrown).
Then i paid 100 pounds to get an electric socket in the bathroom, and now i have to pay for deliverance of the washing machine 600 pounds(would be cheaper if they just dumped it on my door step but i can`t carry it inside alone, so they take 20 pounds extra for taking it over your door step).
Then the washing machine costs 250 pounds (it was almost 400 so i have gotten a bargain there).

Then the plumber needs peanut butter on his toast so that`s about 300 pounds to assemble the washing machine. (They take appr. 90 pounds an hour, and that`s the cheapest once, i have seen some plumbers take 120 pounds an hour!) And i also need to pay for equipment, last time they came to install a toilet, they had a fixed price for that but needed 50 pounds extra for a tube

Yes i can ride the tube in London for 1 pound and its million times faster then the plumber is and much bigger then my toilet but i have to pay 50 pounds for a little plastic thing!!! Why not just fuse some straws together and glue it? Same thing..

So that`s buy buy to my summer holiday, i am just going to sit in and look at my clothes going on a trip in the washing machine.

Hun! put on some tea.

I HATE IT when people give me excuses.

First time my attention was drawn to excuses was when my sister wrote my mum a letter where she said the exact same thing, she was fed up of all my mothers excuses about the family shituation.

I didn`t exactly know what she meant but somehow thought that sentence made a lot of sense, because the rest of that letter was complaints.

In a way excuses are hidden complaints-like "please don`t bug me can`t you see i am busy", is kinda like a denial with a complaint built into it. So now i am suppose to excuse my feelings, put them on hold and wait!?

If you get that message every time you try to reach someone(like i did with my mother), then you are bound to call the whole situation defeated and leave.

OH WELL, AT LEAST I TRIED....

AND THEN...what happens? She turns around and tells me that I AM THE PROBLEM


So now she wants to talk but NOT in a constructive way, NOOOOO she wants to argue. And what does she argue about? ME!?
Yes she thinks of numbers of things i have said,done or initiated the last 50 years of my life(i am 38).


Parents and their boring lives, soooo little to do that she must argue with one of her daughters, so few friends that she can`t find someone else to discuss her frustrating marriage with.

You either gain a mother or lose a friend.