I don`t really like to talk about my cervix in public...
Its an "x" in the name and we all know what they stand for.

Last time i visited the "Mother goat", she told me that 90% of people who have 1 operation get well. I have had 2 operations, she failed to tell me what my odds were, but seeing as i have had cell changes, i need to go and check every 6 months.
There that damn "x" sneaked up on me again!

So last check was fine. Guess i am living 6 months at a time. A little bit of a thriller every 6 months and then calm ocean for the rest of the year. Its just to stay on the safe side. Normally without any cell changes i would take the test every 3 years as advised by doctors.

My mother also had cell changes many years ago, so i think there might be a relation? And she has cold sores sometimes. She is well, and i have never seen my stepfather have a cold sore ever. Just thought i would emphasise that for whatever reason-no "x" in cold sores.

So after "X" comes "AH"

I am a bit stressed out, i helped a woman today who obviously had some problems. She sat outside of the mall asking if i could help her move her groceries to her door, i can`t say no, even if they weigh a ton and i have problems myself.
So while we were walking she told me what the problem was, she has a knee problem and can barely put weight on it. I told her to go to the doctor and she said she had seen one.
Then we got to her house and it turns out she lives in 3 floor with no elevator. I felt so sorry for her so i took her groceries all the way up( i myself have back trouble so i am stretching my own luck here, still i can`t say no to people in need..maybe because i was brought up by a doctor?)

I wish i could have done more for her but my frail health doesn`t comply.
All she wanted was help with her groceries, but its clear to me that her health was so bad that she needed much more help then i was able to give to her.
Horrible to see people in so much pain. A child opened the door so its good to see she has a family, i hope she has a husband who can help her.
I told her to go back to her doctor which i hope she does, she said the medications don`t work.

She invited me in for tea which i thought was very sweet of her. I was on my way to do my own shopping so i had to go.

In Norway it can sometimes be difficult to get all the help you need.

I don`t know the reason for her pain? She had been working for many years, maybe that`s the reason?

I sorta get caught up between the will to be a help when people ask me, and my own back problems.

Its so frustrating.

Anyone who follows me in here might not have overseen my tendency to get over the top sometimes when i am talking about my past.

The simple reason that i work so hard during my twenties and was equally busy in my teens made it impossible for me to recount my moves/past then, so i am obliged to do so now.

If i dear to take up this problem at home, then i automatically become the problem in my stepfathers eyes.

My mum goes into some sort of a mumbling phase while he sits behind her waiting to show off some muscles.

I am being scared away, like a dog.

Not much to discuss...NO justice.

I AM HER DAUGHTER and i am NOT getting that status at all. And the reason i am not getting it is because she won`t give it to me.
She sees that its wrong but she just pretends like i am the problem when my stepfather is being a $#%^.
He keeps pushing me away from my mother and she never does anything about it.
Clearly he thinks he`s got the right to do whatever the hell he wants to.

I am really annoyed because my mother never took the responsibility for me.

She kept on going about how young she was when she had me, but at the same time it looks like she isn`t willing to use her experience to make something better.

She knew what mother hood meant to her when she met my stepfather and yet she ignored it.

It can be hard to explain what i mean because it is something you would have to know about that person, and that can be difficult if you don`t know the person i am speaking about.

I have memories all the way back to how things used to be, i think the clearest memories are of how quickly things changed.

She claims that my dad was so young yet she marries a guy with no money, no job, no children, no experience with children, and knows almost nothing of her language.

She blindly follows him.

When i as much as open my mouth i get fire blazes and accusations...so no communication at all.

I am not allowed to speak my mind.

She is never to be criticised for her bad choices. And she never admits doing a mistake.

So frustrating.