jackilyn 14 female bi

amy 9 female emotional destructive protector

chrissy 3 mute emotional

laura and lin twins girls laura speaks for lin and lin dosnt speak at all, they both share a sort of telepathy.

eliza and azile azile is emotional and distraut often stuck in another time. appaerence is of me when i was 5-6 years? while eliza is the same but with gradiant blue (at roots) and purple/pink/magenta (tips) hair and purple eyes which have been seen when shes out. right now there going through a changing process and both are being dull and uncharachteristic, but when they are normal eliza is a happy and charming 6 year old.

mega female?

whitney "white-out" 14ish female. very negative and blunt about everything has a strong dislike for parents and people of authority. uses vulgar laungae often.

jack (jpk) 4 hes a little skeleton. when we first found him he had no sense of who he was except just jack so i nicknamed him jack the pumpkin king after the nightmare before christmas and now has evolved his entire world after the movie. other than being a skeleton boy he is very normal and loves to play.

"baby" 1-3 blinde short thin curly hair a binky and a thin ratted dirty white nightgown she refuses to change from. wont speak. rarley has.

jacob 4year old boy with imense fear of heights. gust has said his fear of hieghts comes from bieng thrown not falling.

gust 13 autistic. female dosnt speak except with pictures. has spoken but has difficulties.

quartz noage no gender no apaerence. feels nothing often lightend extremly intense pain by cohosting


milesy. shy young child

maey 15 average brit kid bi

patrik 16 gay likes bright colors and makeup. likes using the body as a barbie doll.

renae 16 extrmem paranoia anxiety very faithful christian. sisters with lilly paigen an azile.

lilly 7 resenful protector calls people stupid keeps the did and abuse secret.

paigen has a thick stutter finds communiction hard. shy avoids ey contact.

penelope 12 trouble maker sisters with whitney

tod 18 homophobic dosnt get along well with the not strait alters (including me , jackilyn) loves sports dates renae and sticks to himself. likes hockey.

melanie 32 called mom by insiders and works as a foster mom to alters. gatekeeper and caretaker controls alot of when switching can happen (at what age)

morgan female 23? trnaslates for someone who speaks almost gibberish some weird language.


forigen female age?

the origional thinks he/she is me

delta apollo and artimes and an older person trainind delta. delta copntrols the order of the valley. rest is unknown

the beagle and the bunny are animals in our system

turtle is a human/animal? who really likes aniumals and the color green an takes care of animals in and outside the sytem.

wendy 7 nonhuman? playful

sam 19 smoker traveler. sam is the only person in the system who can travel to the mist and back and is the oldest (as in scince i was born) alter in the system



poison age gender appaerence unkinow

evangelise age????? ollllllddddd vampire platnium blonde hair.

i know theres more grrr!!!!!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-sum-my-parts/201106/did-starts-dissociation

quoted:To understand Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) you should start with an understanding of dissociation, the underlying act that is familiar to us all. Dissociation is a mental process that produces a lack of connection in our thoughts, a separation of emotions, physical sensations, memories, actions or even our sense of identity. Most of us experience mild dissociation in our everyday lives. We call it daydreaming, getting lost in a movie or a book, or driving home on autopilot. These examples of dissociation are normal, and a mild form of amnesia.: end quote one

^what is dissociation^

new quote:
Dissociation can become a disorder when it begins during a person's developmental years and becomes habitual and ingrained. I developed DID as many others have: from enduring a tragically violent childhood. When I was attacked, I instinctively dissociated. Because the experiences were too traumatic for me to deal with, I cognitively left my body and observed the incidents from outside myself. I watched from a distance as if the assaults were happening to someone else. Even while an attack was happening, I was filing the experience away into a mental room, as if it were a movie clip. Then I closed and locked the door. :end quote two


^how it was formed^



quote three:Children most commonly use dissociation, as I did, as an extremely effective defense against acute physical and emotional pain - or even anxious anticipation of that pain. I often refer to this in my presentations as a superpower. It is considered a highly creative survival technique because it allows an individual enduring hopeless circumstances to preserve some areas of healthy functioning. While a person is dissociating, some information - particularly the circumstances surrounding a traumatic event - is not associated with other information as it normally would be. It is held in some peripheral awareness. In that way, it is kept at a distance from the child's immediate awareness, ideally until the time when he or she has the strength or perspective to confront the experience.

If the abuse continues, over time dissociation can become habitual, reinforced and conditioned. This effective strategy can become a way of life: an automatic response to being "triggered". In other words, the person automatically dissociates when a particular environmental cue or event is similar to a previous traumatic event. The person triggered feels threatened or anxious even if the situation doesn't seem threatening to anyone else.: end quote three


http://www.archetypewriting.com/articles/articles_ck/resources_psych_articles_DID.htm

We all have multiple parts to our personalities. You refer to yourself as "I" or "me" even though you act differently at work or school than you do at home because you experience yourself as a single whole. You feel comfortable moving from one part of "me" to another, just as you would walking from one room in a house to another.

What makes the mind organization of someone with DID different is that instead of having open doors between the different "rooms" of their personalities, they have walls called amnestic barriers. The differences among personality states are therefore experienced as stronger than usual, making each state feel like a different personality. So the part that gets angry in the grocery store experiences itself as separate from the part that behaves politely at Thanksgiving dinner. The personalities of people with DID are organized more like apartment buildings than single-family homes--everyone lives in the same building, but the walls keep them from being aware of each other in the same way they would be in a house.

May 21 2013

Today my stomach was.being a jerk an di couldnt walk again. Match that witha panic attackish and of course you get passing out and wnderfull stuff. I called my T and told him to be here soon and then they got there and couldnt find me bu ti was just on the couch. They found me and let me know they were looking all over for me. By they i mean him and my school councler. I had been going in and out of conciousnessbefor ethey got there. I mean FIGHTING. When they got ther eit was like poof wake up. Still in alot of pain i had a prewritten not eto call 911 and alist of my symptoms and a note that under no circumstances did thwy call my family. Well i fought hard. Stayed awake and couldnt move or talk. Councler went and grabbed my science teacher and helped me conjure up words. Th enext parts real fuzzy. Think maybe somehow i got into another room and then realized i couldnt talk and had my T grad my scienc eteacher who had disapeared. Deffinatly some dissociation goin on behind my back....
Anyways she got back in ther eand this is still fuzzy but i got some stuff out then i blacke dout and my teacher was holding my hand and i got really confused on what was going on. She was asking question sand i couldnt comprehend anything like all of a sudden the subject changed and sturf..... bu tit helped to have her there. I know im attached to her, and after all why wouldnt i be, she wa sth eone who tried to get me out of this wretched place. But its bad. Its like i want to curl up and cling to her leg and never let go. Shes so nice to me and has tried everything she can and has been so supportive and loving
tworads me an di dont want to leave. She never critisized me for bien gin pain. She never hurt my feelings and never denied everyone else. Never hit me never made me afraid. When she holds my hand im not afraid shes gonna hit me or "break".

My name is jackilyn. I’m 14 years old. I live in a house on a road. I’m writing a letter. The year is 2001. No. The year is 2013. I’m in the library typing on a noisy keyboard. This is grounding. When you are like me you learn to ground yourself a lot. When you go through things like I do you tend to lean back into a different time and place and relive a nightmare. The only difference is your not dreaming and the nightmare your experiencing real happened to you and now it haunts you over and over again. I guess you could call it trauma, I really don’t. you could say I’ve been through a lot. I say I share my life lessons with 30 other people. My guidance councilor and my mom tell me how good of a writer I am but if were being honest the only reason I even write in the first place is to get rid of all the memories. Or maybe I write to submerge myself in a world other than my own. It could be worse or better whatever I need to write about. Or it could be about my world. No worse or better just cold hard facts. Today I write in a new way, I write to persuade. I hope to open your eyes and help you see the same as I do. See what me and many children around the country go through. Truthfully its nothing compared to what kids in other countries may face. We don’t get starved, we have clothes on our backs, well most of us at least. But this is your country, and you have the authority to change.
I admire you. Your daughters have something that many may never and for that I show you respect, the same respect I show every parent who treats their child as they should. Your daughters have never had to go out in public in shame of the bruises they bear, or the scars they develop, because of your hand. They never hide the scars inside either, and for that I say again, I admire and highly respect you. In my eyes it takes but a man to be a ruler. It takes but a leader to be president. It takes but a knowledgeable mind, and a well written speech to change laws and speak to a country full of people, but it takes a father to raise a child. It takes a mother to raise a child. It takes a parent. It takes love and compassion. Many people say they hold this love and compassion yet they do not hold their own child. They lock their children away and seclude themselves form their children. They call to them not in care and nurturing, but in hate and anger. Hear me sir when I say I respect you not because your place in the government that makes the laws I abide by, not because you have a place of power, not because you have the control but because of you as a person. Any man can stand were you stand and call himself a president but your children call you a father. I respect you because of the fairness you hold in your heart and the kindness I see in you from a television screen. No I do not know you, but I know what you are not, and that is why my respect is strong.

When I was born my mother sent me to live with my grandmother. She had given birth to me at 18 and could not care for me. I had a close bond with my grandmother but my mother wasn’t a strong person in my life. My father abandoned my mother before I was born. I was born with a loving step father, one who I still see today and call my dad. I grew up back and forth between my mother and grandmother, and I have been in more schools then I have been in grades. When my mother ended the relationship with my first step dad she met another man. This man I will call He or Him because he still has much control over me. Yes he is gone away and I do not see him anymore, but he is still in my life. The things that happen constrict my abilities. I’m at the library. Im typing a letter. My name is jackilyn and the year is 2013. Grounding. the method works but it doesn’t stop you from remembering. I was 5 when something happened. This is part of the trauma that caused me to have a disorder known as dissociative identity disorder. Looking back I’m grateful I don’t remember most of what happened, but...

[ Continued ]

Now let me your attention to a young girl named Faith. Faith is thirteen years old, and currently in a situation similar to my own. Faith’s mother has been seen rocking like a young child while relieving herself and Faith’s father has threatened to murder her mother. Like me Faith’s physical abuse rarely results in markings or bruises, but is often unreasonable,( getting slapped for apologizing) or provoked by situations resulting in fits of rage which progressively get worse as our stay in each of our separate homes continues. Faith recently told a counselor at school about her home life and it was simply put that all parents argue, and she was advised to stay away from her parents when they were angry.

Faith lives her day to day life while living with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly named Multiple Personality Disorder. DID is a serious condition where a child who suffers severe trauma at a young age dissociates to cope. As a result the child doesn’t develop properly, and has a personality split into multiple characters, most with their own name appearance age and gender. The personalities or alters, as I call my own, can be almost identical to the host in ways of moving thinking and looks or completely different. Many people do not discover they are split until they are well into adult hood. Faith and I are special in a sense that we each discovered we were multiple at a young age. Of course this tends to cause problems in school, home, and other daily activities, and imagine adding that onto the homes that we currently reside in. Many people are skeptical of diagnoses of a “split personality disorder” and many other people tend to deny that fact that he host is multiple, because they do not see anybody but the host. The truth is DID is meant to be hidden. Not even the host is supposed to know they are multiple, and the brain does its best to keep it that way, keeping the host or alters in denial to try and hide the disorder once again. The whole purpose of DID is to cope while still being fully functional in day to day life.