Blessed Are Those Who Have A Good Marriage

Having married twice now, failed and failing, I look ahead to possibly being alone. That thought scares me. What is it that I did wrong? Well, first off, I proposed to a childhood sweetheart, we got engaged, I was immature, and she dumped me. Then I met Anna, a beautiful Hungarian refugee, and her womanly [feminine] looks, and kind words was all it took to win me over. I overlooked the fact that her mother, who ran a matriarchal household, didn't like me. She was quite strict with her husband and often criticized him. Anna and I married, and had 4 children, 3 boys and then a daughter. I kept busy working, providing, and we never built on our early friendship. Her mom was her confidant and they talked nearly every day, in Hungarian. I picked up on the buzz words that had her father in stress, but then, often, they were directed at me.

We divorced after 16 years of marriage. She married her Hungarian boyfriend and divorced him twice. I met Sharon, my spouse within days of separating from Anna. Once again, womanly looks and kind words won me over. I was her third, and the bliss ended after 10 months. I've made the horrible mistake in both marriages of holding anger in, and then explosive anger comes out periodically. Right or wrong, I lose. I have stayed with her for the last 15 of our 25+ years together because she is physically ill. She also carries the anguish of a horrible past.

Whatever way this marriage ends, I believe I've learned a lesson. A good marriage, a long, happy one, starts with a good friendship. From that friendship, if it contains "honesty, respect, and selflessness" from both sides, perhaps a union can form. It is possible to weave Time, Love, and Trust into a marriage that no mortal can tear.

Those fortunate few who find a friend, lifetime companion, and lover have my respect and admiration. I will be very careful about wearing my heart on my sleeve from now on, and if I am so blessed to find a woman, likeminded as I am, then perhaps my future holds a good fortune.