The last few days, my moods change more than once a day. I'm not sure what brings me up. But if I lie down for a nap I wake up feeling down. This evening I could still interact with people and it felt good. But that was a brief feeling. As soon as the interaction ends, I feel awful. The worst thing is there's no reason for me to feel bad. I don't like admitting the possibility that my feelings are at the mercy of some chemical reaction that's happening in a wrong way in my brain. I have nothing to feel sad about. I just do. Nothing bad happened to me today. But here are these feelings. If I let my mind wander, I'll come across some memory of some stupid thing that happened long ago--somebody who mistreated me or some thing I did that I shouldn't have--and I'll feel worse.
I don't know what happened today to change in just a few minutes. I was talking to someone for a work project and it felt like work just talking to him. Within ten minutes of the end of the conversation, I felt a burst of energy and enthusiasm and got a whole bunch of other work done. It's nothing against the guy I was talking to. I don't know him that well. It was a good stroke of luck that I saw him when I did. He just happened to be available when I had a moment and I got done what I needed to get done from the meeting.
Stuff to write down and tell the doctor about when I have the followup to my physical next month. Maybe it's time for a psychiatrist to write a prescription.