I'm married to someone who has dissociative identity disorder. Unfortunately, I am again more than ready to leave at this point in time. The only thing keeping me here is the children. They are so happy and I would not dare disrupt their lives, but living with my husband is literally killing me. I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel guilty talking about him, but I just can't stand it anymore. I feel guilty because my husband was abused as a child and caused him to be dissociative, and I should be more understanding. But now not only is he suffering as a result of the abuse, it is taking its toll on me as well. It's not his fault I know, but there is only so much a person can take. I know if he could overcome this he would, but I don't think this is ever going to go away. Do I contine to suffer.... Wasting my life trying to fix something that can't be fixed... I'm scared because I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of leaving, but I don't want to emotionally scar my children by getting a divorce! I feel like I'm in prison...

Yesterday was my h's uncle's funeral. Our Pastor became very ill at the funeral and had to be taken to the hospital. This has added more stress to my H because he is really close with our Pastor. Not to mention he is still looking for a second job. We thank God that H has at least a part time job again! His head is not the only thing hurting today. He is saying his whole body hurts and he can't figure out why. He keeps saying he doesn't feel right. I noticed two staring spells today. I believe he is really Fighting to keep from switching into an alter. Right now he is outside playing with the kids.

I joined this forum back in August a few months after my H began therapy for Dissociative Identity Disorder. I was fortunate enough to receive very valuable advice and information from people who are also suffering from DID. They gave me some hope and a better understanding of what is going on with my H. I am hoping to use this blog as an outlet for me, sort of like journal.
Today was an OK day. My husband has been under a lot of stress recently this week. His uncle died and we are trying to get our financial situation straight. His headaches are coming on again and he has a pain in his side. Usually this signals a mood change is about to occur. And it did today. I don't know if it was an alter trying to come out or WAS out. Like I said we are both new to this. I noticed his way of speaking changed and his posture. I brought it to his attention. During the next hour I could see him struggling to come out of that mood. Until finally he became his usual self again. Normally it would take days for that to happen so I believe the therapy is helping him cope.
Something odd happened just a moment ago. He called me from his cell and he didn't sound like himself again. Only this time he sounded like really happy and speaking softly. I'm not sure if that was him or an alter. This is why I'm so confused. I guess with time I'll understand better. The funeral for his uncle is tomorrow.

My H is currently in therapy for DID. I must say things have gotten better since he started therapy. But how long will it last? Will it be like the other times when things are going well and then WHAM evidence of betrayal. The Big difference this time around is that we have a name for this disorder and he is in therapy. I am very hopeful yet terrified. I would like to doument the process.