I swear nothing is more frustrating in the world than being on your manic phase and not understanding something in school. For credits reasons, I'm still doing classes despite my age. I do them online though.

Due to my learning disabilities I have huge problems with things like Math, I NEED people to go through things with me. Doesn't matter how many resources you give me or examples or readings, I can read the resources over and over and not get it. I require someone to go through the thing I am stuck on with me.

But because I'm in online school this is hard. Every time I'm manic and stuck on something (like today) I end up in frustrated tears and I want to just chuck things at the wall. I break down and I can't calm down because being manic feels like your entire body is full of constant electricity, I literally cannot calm down even if I want to, and I want to so badly. The emotions build up inside me to the point where it feels like I'll explode and unfortunately this stupid school doesn't understand that people with learning disabilities (they don't know about my bipolar because I doubt they'd give a $#%^ even if I told them, not a ton of people in the educational field without bipolar disorder really understand how it impacts learning) GO TO THEIR SCHOOL.

I HATE that I'm like this, I hate how no matter how old I get I still have difficulties, and I hate that it gets so overwhelming that I straight up start crying in anger. I'm aware that in these temper tantrums I look like a child, crossing my arms in tears yelling, but my brain will not move forward until something gives and I get help.

Bipolar disorder and ADD+Aspergers is one of the most frustrating combinations ever x__x