I've seen, from basic 'how to' books to well regarded experts, benefit of using the following formula for setting personal boundaries.
In some cases it 'works' as in gets the desired result, but often doesn't or is temporary.
Base formula is:
When YOU do/say/act like......... 'fill gap with negative action/words'
I feel...... fill gap with feelings that result
In future if you continue..... fill gap with 'consequence'
sometimes there is a a 'directive of what the other person should do "i'd like you to do this/that.. more/less etc.

What are the reasons it may not work?
I'll use Victoria and Victor in this example. Victoria is peeved because Victor of late has been a slob, leaving dirty clothes, dishes everywhere, talking to her like she's a maid etc....
She states:
"Victor when you leave your dirty clothes around, don't do the dishes and generally treat me like a maid..."
"I feel devalued and disrespected and sad that you don't care enough about me to take responsibility for your stuff."
"If you continue this I will stop doing any housework at all and not bother cooking dinner. I may leave the relationship at some point if there is no improvement."

Sounds fair enough......How Victor may hear it might be something along the lines of:

As soon as Victoria states the problem, Victor will hear the 'negative' stuff he is doing being pointed out to him. If he's a bit sensitive to criticism, he will go into Defense Mode, having his faults pointed out he feels attacked or shamed, anything Victoria says after will be taken in with Victor having physiological changes (blood pressure, adrenalin etc) and ready to defend himself, retreat or attack.

Now, in this state Victor hears Victoria saying how he makes HER FEEL (bad).

He himself is feeling attacked, hurt and exposed, his faults being pointed out. "oh, so its about YOUR feelings..... what about mine? don't mine matter? you make me feel bad without hesitation but want me to be concerned about your feelings?"

then comes the consequence..... this isn't going to be received well now....
"i don't care if the place turns into a pig sty.... you are trying to black mail me into treating you nice, you don't care I'm feeling awful, why should I care how you feel? Don't even know why you are around if i'm such a bad person. Your cooking is crap anyway. "
None of these things may be voiced, Victor may say "oh, sorry, i'll try harder in future' (but he won't).

Next post I will give another option for Victoria to deal with bringing up being treated like a maid that will give a much better chance of improvement in this area and have both of them feeling care for and valued.