Lately has been tough for me. Yesterday marked the second month since this nightmare began. I don't feel like myself. I don't feel like "one of the girls" anymore. I feel like a lesbian who's coming close to accepting her sexuality and very very very confused. I don't talk about thinking I'm a lesbian as much as I used to. My depression and anxiety have gotten better due to the antidepressants that my doctor gave me and I guess I'm just kind of floating along. I do feel empty though and upset. The thoughts still remain with me from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed and I honestly doubt the will go away because girls are everywhere I can't hide. I sit and wonder sometimes how before all of this I was capable of being extremely friendly with a girl and making new friends and thinking nothing of it. I feel extremely disconnected and I'm going to work this summer to hopefully pay for counseling in the future. The lack of motivation I have is crazy. I have days where I think I'm attracted to men again and feel ok, then everything is ruined because I notice girls and become extremely frustrated with myself and with them. Lately I've noticed more than anything that I'm extremely angry. Angry with myself and others, and let me tell you it's not a great combination with depression and anxiety. I pray that things get better but I think I'm losing all hope.