If it is true that my ex did nothing wrong and I have to forgive him then it must mean that it is my fault that I am ugly. God made me this ugly and He made men so that they only like skinny blondes so that must mean that He doesn't want me to be loved, and a life without Love has no purpose and if it has no purpose then why am I still here? Why can't I simply have the guts to end this worthless life? If this is God's will that I have no purpose then why can't I just die?