Talked with a moderator and they said it is to protect some from over revealing themselves. Like their identity. I'm not sure what the big deal is. There seems to be one and that's ok I guess. It is oppressive but I'm a try this feature out and see how it goes. My blogs shouldn't be that long and should not take an average reader to go through them in a couple of minutes.

Got up today and it is an overcast day. Somehow last night I lost my bracelet. Really screwed with my OCD traits. I looked everywhere for it but had to remember that you can't find everything. Sometimes things get lost and lost forever. I would of been late to work cuz I would of just kept looking and searching. So I was proud of myself really. I was able to over come my obsession of looking for it. I found another this morning just like it and everything for about 70$. And that's money I don't have. But it is the same and that's good because it is the same style as my necklace and it is important they match. It would drive me nuts if it didn't. And if I can't get the bracelet I will probably destroy the necklace out of anger. I had before this a beautiful necklace, one of a kind I bought of the street for 40$. I wear silver btw. I goes with my olive/brown skin. Anyways I ripped that necklace off my neck out of anger. Ripped it to a million pieces. And didn't even sell the scraps. I was pretty stupid that day. Now it is raining cats and dogs and I'm at work doing jacksh!t.

Money is on the mind. I have an invite to a poker game mañana after work. I'm sure I could make some money there although not nearly enough. Temptation is strong for sure to do something against my God. Sometimes I wish there was like a window of opportunity to do as you please occasionally. Like four Tuesdays a year free pass to do whatever. Lmao! That's funny but yeah. I think I'm a get kicked out of my house here soon and according to the law I got awhile if they do for the Sheriff to come do just that. But for all they know I got the money and will pay. The want to keep us as tenants but without income I cant afford this rent. Lol, man it gets expensive three or four blocks out the ghetto. Got ahold of a food stamp card someone else doesn't need (going out of state.) So that's 100$ per month for 3 months for food expenses. Have not been getting call backs from anybody work wise. Probably my age and driving record not helping me. It doesn't matter. I will survive like always by the skin of my teeth. Don't know why but I always seem to operate better during these times. Maybe I should sell my truck and go with no wheels. The only drawback is getting to jobs outside the city limits. So yeah it's getting to crunch time. Well is drying up and I gotta make moves. Thing is you gotta do what you gotta do. I think I'm a move back a few blocks to the ghetto. But my dog is a problem. Damn. Would hate to get rid of him. I trained him well and he truly is a good dog. Knows his role. Protects my family when I'm gone. And loves me unconditionally. He is fuking hella stupid but he is a beautiful beast. I don't want to give him away to some other fuk that will fuking ruin him. Probably make him fight for money. If I ever found that out at least it would give me a good reason to wreck sh!t and a mutherfuker. Yeah sometimes I wish someone would jump me. So I can have a reason. People are starting to get cautious and puffed up around me again. My vibe is pounded too hard. Just this morning these fuks were looking at me hard as hell when I'm walking up towards them. But I seen fear in their eyes. Young bucks. Soft. They summoned the courage to ask me for some squares. I told them I don't smoke menthol and they parted to let me pass. There was an unusual tension when I'm more menacing that usual. My vibe must be really fuked up. So I'm a go pray for a while. God will help me.