I have not been near a casino (for fear of relapse) in so so long. But lately my brain is saying 'you can handle it". There are days when I think I can. I did self exclude from 1 of the 2 casinos near me. So I could go to the other one. I never cared for the other one before and am not that familiar with it. I am so tempted some days. I keep self talking saying STOP you know better! If that day comes, hopefully I can fight it.... but if it happens it will be devastating and I know it. I try to remember how worthless I felt, how broke I was, how tired I was. I used to play so long at the slots that I could still hear the music in my head while driving home. Just writing this is good. It makes me stop and remember how it's not worth it. Whew OK for tonight.