i don't trust him now

i'm paranoid, checking websites to see if he's on there trying to find replacement ass

i feel guilty that he's with YET ANOTHER dysfunctional chick

i'm really tired of this. same story, over and over and over and over.

i'm so tired of the rollercoaster i don't want to continue therapy or dating, it just doesn't seem worth it. i'm 40. will i REALLY ever get over this? probably not. i could spend the time/money on something else.

i think my main focus should be my daughter's life, until she's independent, at least. i don't want to get lost in my child and use her as an emotional crutch.

i think i should spend extra time doing volunteer work. something to fill the void and loneliness. distraction. or find a part time, every other weekend job so i have something to do when i don't have my daughter.

i really like sex, but don't bond over it. i easily keep a FWB situation going with no remorse or regret. i think i will just keep doing that to fill the physical void.